Finding The Cheese

The plan was simple: no plan at all. We hit record with nothing but caffeine, a messy outline, and a promise to tell the truth about the season we’re in. What unfolded is part comedy of errors, part love letter to the places and people that made us, and part survival guide for anyone trying to balance grief, money, and a little joy.

We start on the surface—fountain drink alchemy, reusable cups, and office rules that ban heaters and humidifiers—then slide into the heart of the week: helping move parents out of a house that holds three decades of memories. There’s a neighbor’s hug that undoes us, deli ham preserved by a cold truck, and the now-legendary cheese discovered in a box labeled “bathroom.” Also a cat with nervous poops, because of course. Between jokes, we talk about how leaving a home means leaving a version of yourself, and how nostalgia hits hardest when the rooms are finally empty.

From there, it gets quieter and a little eerie. A purse falls on its own. Movement flickers at the edge of vision. Is it stress, a trick of the light, or the kind of presence you feel when someone you love is gone but still near? We compare notes, set aside fear, and land on a practice: name it, breathe, and let the moment be kind rather than creepy. Then we rejoin the living—football in rival bars, a soft spot for Eminem, and sticker shock over concerts and the Sphere—before mapping a Disney trip with motion sickness fixes and a browse-everything-before-you-buy strategy to keep our budgets intact.

If you’re navigating moving parents, packing chaos, ghost stories that might just be grief, or the impossible math of joy versus money, pull up a chair. We’ll give you laughter, permission to feel weird about it all, and a few practical paths: bring the blanket to work, set spending boundaries you can actually keep, and save room for the detours. Love the episode? Follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a laugh, and leave a quick review to help others find us.

Chapters

• 0:00 Vibes, Chaos, And Caffeine
• 1:05 Soda Habits And Recycling Guilt
• 3:45 Parents’ Move And The Case Of The Missing Cheese
• 9:40 Cat Poop, Cold Houses, And Office Rules
• 13:20 Keys, Surgery Scars, And Being “That Friend”
• 16:50 Is It Grief Or A Ghost?
• 20:20 Football, Eminem, And Pricey Concert Dreams
• 24:00 Disney Plans, Motion Sickness, And Budget Boundaries
• 31:50 Wrap-Up: Scenic Detours And Snacks

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome back to On Our Best Behavior, the podcast where we say we're going to be on our best behavior and then immediately enter our reputation era. I'm Kelly. I'm Emily. And today's episode is brought to you by Vibes, Intrusive Thoughts, and a notes app of full of half-baked ideas we may or may not acknowledge. We're not totally sure what we're talking about today. We have concepts, we have feelings, we have a loose outline that's already giving midnights at 3 a.m. energy. But honestly, that's when the best stuff happens. Think a little unhinged, a little heartfelt, possibly controversial, but always swifty level committed. We might cry, we might spiral, we might shake it off, no promises. So grab your emotional support beverage, put on your metaphorical cardigan and settle in. This is honor best behavior, and no, we will not be explaining ourselves. Are you ready for it?

unknown: 0:52

Woo!

SPEAKER_01: 0:53

I'm like, did you like all my creative juices I had flowing in? Creative juices were real flowing. That diet dew really boosted you up, man. It hits. It hits. It hits. I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04

Sometimes when I'm like real fatigued, I need a diet dew to wake me up. Sometimes I just want to like plug that shit into my veins.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11

Give me an IV, man. Give me an IV.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13

Give me green dew. I know. Something. Give me that. It wouldn't die good. Green stuff. You know, we harp on people about drinking and not not us, but the world and smoking and whatever else they do. I'm gonna die from diet dew.

SPEAKER_01: 1:27

I'm gonna die from cancer, so I don't care what I drink. Caused by diet dew. For me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32

For me, it's caused by genetics and diet coke. Diet coke. You drink a lot. You probably drink more water than anything. I do. I drink a ton of water. I don't drink.

SPEAKER_01: 1:40

Um, but for me, it's yeah, I'm gonna die of cancer due to genetics and probably the aspartame because I don't drink regular pop. I hate real sugar pop. Like full sugar, can't stand it. It's too sweet for me. So I always need the diet or the zero sugar.

SPEAKER_00: 1:55

I have this new really bad habit. Yes, you do. You you do, you know what it is? Is this your quick trip hat? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, told me. Yes. Last time you were over. I bought a plastic big buddy so that I can just get my it's essentially free most of the time. And I love to do half zero sugar Pepsi, and then I push all of the syrups, cherry, vanilla, cherry vanilla, and then the other half is straight sugar wild cherry Pepsi, and then I swish that around. Oh it is heavenly. Oh, oh wow. That is magic in a big buddy. Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 2:34

I just do a non-reusable big buddy usually, and it's died.

SPEAKER_00: 2:40

You are the uh the environment. I know. I'm not like you. However, you did tell me that you don't recycle because you don't recycle.

SPEAKER_01: 2:49

Recycles properly. So what's the point? Um it's gonna have to go to the trash because they say don't put it in plastic bags. And do you know how many plastic bags of recycling are in the recycling like thing? No, it you're gonna have to throw it in the garbage. We do that.

SPEAKER_00: 3:04

We do too. I put them all in a plastic bag, and then when it gets full, I make Mackey.

SPEAKER_01: 3:09

You know what? Here's how I feel paper bags, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 3:11

Who else? I don't even have I either have reusable bags or plastic bags.

SPEAKER_01: 3:16

I get plastic, I get paper bags when I go grocery shopping. Trader Joe's always has plastic bags or paper bags. And then if I go to Cub, I always do paper bags.

SPEAKER_00: 3:26

Curbside pickup. So I don't choose the bag. The bag chooses me. Bag chooses you.

SPEAKER_01: 3:31

But anyway, my quick trip drink order is always a fountain diet, Dr. Pepper, with two squirts of cherry. Two squirts.

SPEAKER_00: 3:40

I called it a push, and you called it some squirts.

SPEAKER_01: 3:42

It's a squirty. It's a squirter. When my sister picked me up the other week, we gotta update the world on my parents' move.

SPEAKER_00: 3:49

Yes, yes. It's been a minute. It did happen. Somebody's been so busy in their life that they couldn't come on that show.

SPEAKER_01: 3:55

You blame Jeff and Sandy and their bullshit that they put me through. Thanks a lot, Jeff and Sandy, and all your bullshit. Fucking a. I mean, I have stories for life on this one. Um, but Danella texted me and was like, I'm picking you up. Do you want anything from Quickship? I was like, Yep, I'm gonna need this. And then we had to stop and have a drink before we could handle moving them in. Did it help? The drink? Yes. For a little bit. And then my parents started really talking, and I was like, ooh. I'm busy. My drink is worn off.

SPEAKER_00: 4:26

Did you put your AirPods in and then just vacuum? No. That would have been a good idea. No, I didn't. No, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01: 4:32

Sorry, so vacuuming pills.

SPEAKER_00: 4:34

What? What?

SPEAKER_01: 4:37

Thought you meant the pills.

SPEAKER_00: 4:38

You talking to me? No, I pills I had to vacuum up. Oh no. I just meant like so you didn't have to talk to them.

SPEAKER_01: 4:45

No. No. I mean, I was upstairs vacuuming. My mom doesn't do stairs anymore. That's like a that's like a baby gate for your mom. Honestly, was like, I will vacuum the basement. I will vacuum any room upstairs, like anything I can do to get out of this moment because it is cold and someone won't stop talking, and I just stop. Just stop. And they're like, I'm here to get some shit done and get out of here. That's exactly it. And my dad wasn't done packing, and he was throwing shit from the fridge into open boxes.

SPEAKER_00: 5:18

The cheese. The deli ham and deli cheese that you couldn't find. That was right on the top. In a kitchen box.

SPEAKER_01: 5:24

The ham was apparently in a kitchen box right on the top. Um, that my sister found the next day. Thankfully, the truck, it was cold out and the truck was like stayed cold overnight, so the ham was fine. But we couldn't find the cheese until we found the box labeled bathroom in my dad's bedroom. And he opened it up and that night and he found the cheese that they were throwing a fit for two hours about of where's the cheese? It was a lot of cheese. We wasted all that money. And I'm like, if that's the one thing you lost in your move, it's fine. It's perishable. Like, where's the cheese? They're like, Where did you find the cheese? I'm like, we opened every box in the kitchen. There's no cheese in here.

SPEAKER_00: 6:03

But guess what? There's a grocery store. Yes! Because now that they live in the safe city of elsewhere, they don't have to worry about all the crime. Apparently.

SPEAKER_01: 6:13

But my dad found it when he was go-I he must have been like going to bed and moving some boxes around and opened one up that he needed. He thought stuff was in there and the cheese was right on top.

SPEAKER_00: 6:24

Did he admit his wrong?

SPEAKER_01: 6:26

He admitted that that's where he found it.

SPEAKER_00: 6:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 6:29

So that's as good as we're gonna get.

SPEAKER_00: 6:31

He has no idea how it got there or who would put it there.

SPEAKER_01: 6:33

He knows he did it. Whether there's a full admission of that or not, he'll go to his grave not fully admitting it. So if he does, it's gonna be like a half-assed turn workaround.

SPEAKER_00: 6:47

I don't want to die before your dad, but it would be badass if I did, and I was like sitting next to God and he's like, we know about the cheese. And I would be like, uh, I told him. But he was already watching.

SPEAKER_01: 7:06

Fucker wasn't listening. He just did not. I mean, granted, the first this is the first time they moved in 31 years. So they weren't, you know, I'm a professional packer because I've moved so many times in my life.

SPEAKER_00: 7:16

Not me.

SPEAKER_01: 7:17

Um, but they really did not know what they were doing and not prepared. And like, it's just, yeah. And then poor one of the cats pooped on me in the car. That's right. Well, he had nervous poops. I get it. Like, he had been in an overnight place. He was at a strange place for 36 hours, and then I am picking him up, trying to shove him into a carrier, and he's like, Abso fucking not. The shit's not happening. You're gonna carry me.

SPEAKER_00: 7:44

Well, the shit's happening.

SPEAKER_01: 7:45

Literally, the shit was happening. I was like, he's sitting, I'm in the back seat, and Willie's on my lap, and we're like, he's just like clinging on to me, and then all of a sudden he kind of perches up, and I was like, Oh, he's he's relaxing. No, he was taking shit. All of a sudden I felt one turd, two turds, three turds, and I'm screaming at my sister at the same time. I'm like, he's booping.

SPEAKER_00: 8:05

And then we had to- At least it wasn't diarrhea.

SPEAKER_01: 8:07

It was not my dad was like, was it solid? And I'm like, Yes, it was. And we stopped at the nearest gas station so Danal could pick it up.

SPEAKER_00: 8:16

But there was- You just sat there while she picked plucked it off of you?

SPEAKER_01: 8:19

Yeah, he was on my it was on the it like fell from my leg to the ground. Oh, okay. On the floor, and we're like, Thank God we took my mom's car because it smelled like cat poop for a while.

SPEAKER_00: 8:29

Her cat poop, her problem. Mm-hmm. Alright, so you got them all moved in. Did you cry when you left your house? I childhood house.

SPEAKER_01: 8:39

Yes. So the last time I was there was the day before they closed on everything. So that Thursday, the mover said came and picked up picked everything up, and then the entire house was empty. I've never seen the house empty. And I was sitting there, just kind of looking at everything, and like just sitting and looking at like certain spots of like this memory happened here. We would always do this, this, you know, all of these things like were flashing through my head from like 1995 up until now. Like every little thing, like what the kitchen looked like when I was growing up, then what it looked like, and now what it looks like. And the same with like the living room carpet and all of these things. And I'm trying to have this like moment in my head of processing all these things, and then my mom keeps talking to me about all these past daycare kids that she took care of, including McCoy. She didn't bring up Mackie, but she goes, You got me a lot of daycare kids. Do you remember this one? Do you remember this one?

SPEAKER_00: 9:32

Like you say, I'll take my cut.

SPEAKER_01: 9:33

No, I don't remember. I should have, yeah. But I was like, No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 9:37

Did you work on a bonus structure? No, I should have.

SPEAKER_01: 9:41

I was just being nice. I know.

SPEAKER_00: 9:42

God damn, I should have. At least there's still one nice person left in this world. We'll get there.

SPEAKER_01: 9:48

Debatable. Debatable. Um, and then so I was like trying to have like this nice five-second moment to myself, and she was ruining it. But then I so I wasn't crying then, but then the neighbor came over. Oh, yeah. Jan came over, and you know, known all of them for 30 some odd years. She brings cookies, and then she gives me a hug, and then she starts crying. Then I start crying, and I was like, I gotta go, and I booked it, and I just cried the whole way home.

SPEAKER_00: 10:12

It's gotta be so hard. I mean, it's hard for you too, but like think about your neighbors who watched you grow up. Yeah. But you know, into a a young woman.

SPEAKER_01: 10:20

Yeah. And like that's that's you know, it's it could be because we've all been in that same area forever. Yeah, you know, and they were at my graduation party and you know, all of these things. And so probably all of your milestones. A lot, yeah. I mean, they all got drunk on my parents' driveway on my graduation, my high school graduation party night.

SPEAKER_00: 10:37

High school, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 10:38

Um, so I could go next door and watch the little kids so the neighbors could come over and resourceful drink. So that's what I did on my high school graduation night. Watched like two-year-olds. So, so they could all drink.

SPEAKER_00: 10:51

I'm glad they got to celebrate you so hard.

SPEAKER_01: 10:53

They yeah, they really did. But no, it's all said and done. I haven't been there since the day they moved in. I'll be there next weekend, next week for Christmas Eve. Um, it's just so far. So far.

SPEAKER_00: 11:09

Your parents' new place? Yes. It's so far. But next time you're there, you we can go to the tractor supply that's in Cambridge. I've never been to that one.

SPEAKER_01: 11:18

You've never been to that one? Okay, I'm running the Elk River one. Okay. The don't they have a tractor supply in Blaine? No. I thought they did. They have a harbor freight. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. They have a fleet farm. I knew the fleet farm. They have a pet smart. Yeah, but yeah, I like that pet smart.

unknown: 11:37

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00: 11:37

I like that Marshall. Or that TJ Maxx. The Marshalls.

SPEAKER_01: 11:42

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good one. It's a good one.

SPEAKER_00: 11:44

That's the one in Blaine, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:45

Yeah. I like that one better. Yeah. I don't yeah, the TJ Maxx we have is just very small. I need a bigger TJ Maxx.

SPEAKER_00: 11:54

I also hate to say this, but like I feel like the demographic of people at TJ Maxx versus the demographic people who are up the road at Marshalls is very vast, vastly different.

SPEAKER_01: 12:05

Yeah. Riverdale has definitely changed a little bit over the last couple of years.

SPEAKER_00: 12:10

Well, now they're losing so many businesses.

SPEAKER_01: 12:12

They are losing it because they're so expensive.

SPEAKER_00: 12:15

Did you hear who what's expensive? The rent. Oh, the rent, yeah. To be in Riverdale. Um the old Smash Burger slash Eddingtons slash Boston Market is gonna be a honey-baked ham.

SPEAKER_01: 12:27

What? I would rather have Eddington's back. I know that doesn't feel like anymore.

SPEAKER_00: 12:31

It doesn't at all ending up.

SPEAKER_01: 12:32

I don't think so. I haven't it used last one I knew of was in Roseville off of Snelling by Old Chicago, and I don't think it's there anymore. Oh my god, I miss those breadsticks so much. We, when we worked together, the drug rep lunches of Eddington that we would get.

SPEAKER_00: 12:48

Love them.

SPEAKER_01: 12:49

Oh my god, that is one place I forget about.

SPEAKER_00: 12:53

And Eddington's. It was so good. And Panda Express opened. Have you been? I have not been yet. Have you? Twice.

SPEAKER_01: 13:03

I do want to.

SPEAKER_00: 13:03

They just sent me a notification. That's why I was like, oh, Panda Express.

SPEAKER_01: 13:06

I do want to get their honey, I do like their honey walnut shrimp.

SPEAKER_00: 13:09

Oh, I want to try that. I love the orange chicken so much that I don't ever veer off of that.

SPEAKER_01: 13:16

If you ever go to Trader Joe's in their frozen section, they have their own like frozen version of honey walnut shrimp.

SPEAKER_00: 13:21

It's delicious. I I'm Trader Joe's has not impressed me. I think I'm like the only person in the world. I don't know if it's I don't know. I like it for I when I go there, like I'll get some fruit, but like their pre-made salads are all weird. They're I don't know. There's just like not the bakery is meh to me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 13:45

See, I depends on the season. Like for me in the springtime when they have all the lemon-flavored stuff out, I'm in that bakery buying everything. Um, but I'm not a pumpkin person really, and stuff like that. I'm like an apple person. So if there's things like that I like, but I like their frozen foods the most. It's easy for me, especially living alone. Do they do a lot of single meals? Two people meals. Okay. Yeah. Like, you know, fried, there's fried rice, there's orange chicken that's really good. Um, they have like these really fluffy frozen pancakes that are really good. I don't like pancakes. I know you don't. Um, but and then they have like the potato hash browns and like this. So I like that stuff, and I like their snacks. Yeah. Like they have these garlic non-crackers that are so good. So good.

SPEAKER_00: 14:30

I will, I will and I don't not like it. I just don't I used to be like, I want to go there so bad and check it out.

SPEAKER_01: 14:35

And I'm like it's not worth your drive.

SPEAKER_00: 14:37

I've been there a couple times now and I'm like, meh. Not worth your drive. Yeah. See, it's always well I'm just gonna start going to Shoreview in January once a week. What? We need to talk about that. So, which I kind of had an idea that was a possibility um a long time ago, but now it's becoming a reality in January, just one time a week. So bad is fine. So, anyway, the good thing about it, right, is I'll get down that way. And then, you know, then when plasma's on my way home. Yeah, so I can make it make sense for my life.

SPEAKER_01: 15:08

Um, that's a really good Target, the Shopping one. I like that one a lot. It's similar to the Champlain.

SPEAKER_00: 15:13

I can't remember the last time I'd been inside of a Target. I tried to stay out.

SPEAKER_01: 15:17

I do they have an Alta in that one? I can't remember. It's been a while since I've been inside that one. I went inside a Target for the first time in a couple months last week because I got a coupon from work. I love the way you say coupon. Coupon from work for$5 off purchase of$15 or more. And I needed to purchase a blanket because my new office space is an icebox.

SPEAKER_00: 15:42

Oh yeah, Sonic.

SPEAKER_01: 15:43

Looked like Sonic's the hedgehog yesterday because it's a freaking ice box. I just see your little brown hair. Literally, the this one of the scientists walked by and she's like, You just look like a hedgehog. I'm like, it's cold. That's why. I was just whiny about it.

SPEAKER_00: 15:57

I know. And then like where I work, they are all safety committee, and you can't have a heater, and you can't have a uh humidifier, and you can't have anything that might smell.

SPEAKER_01: 16:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 16:10

Same. And I even never worked somewhere where they're like, uh no, you can't have a humidifier. When I unpeel band-aids, the the white part, I can't get it off of me. Because it's so dry. So dry. The static. They have a humidifier room. What's in there? They do? Yeah, I see it. It says humidifier room.

SPEAKER_01: 16:32

I don't know what's in there for certain equipment that has to be stored in a certain way.

SPEAKER_00: 16:36

I don't know. I think it's where the humidifier is. Then you're like, turn it that bitch on. I need it. Where's the dial? Show it. Put it at 10. Crank that bitch up. Crank up the heat and crank up the water.

SPEAKER_01: 16:51

I know. Trust me, I am a very safety, knowledgeable hospital restrictions person. I'm very knowledgeable in it. And I hate it, but I get it. I know. Like I it's such a struggle.

SPEAKER_00: 17:06

You know, it's just this is part of the world I'm struggling with right now. It's just really hard to be the kind of person who would never leave it plugged in, would never leave it on. Yeah. Would always remember to turn it off and unplug it. Yeah. Who has a lot of safe characteristics.

SPEAKER_01: 17:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:22

Other lazy people, they ruin it for me. They ruin it for me. Ruin it for everybody.

SPEAKER_01: 17:26

They do. And I will admit I'm one of those lazy people where I would totally forget. It's so bad sometimes.

SPEAKER_00: 17:34

I never forget. I, however, have the OCD paranoia that I did forget. And so like I bought a new space heater and it has a Wi-Fi app so I can shut it off from my phone. That's smart. So then you can check for sure. Yeah. And you can also like it, also has like, do you want it to run for two hours, four hours, eight hours? Which I like that because that helps my OCD. Also, what really helps my OCD is I used to have a really bad habit of uh locking my keys in my car, but now that these smart cars don't allow that. And that's that's really that gives me a lot of security. Never had a car with keyless. I have to start right now, so that means the keys in here.

SPEAKER_01: 18:19

Never, never had a car like that. It it might even like now I have a key, and I've never in 20 years locked my keys in my car. Wow. I've lost my keys one time in my life, and that was it. I've never locked my keys in my car ever.

SPEAKER_00: 18:36

So what's your process so that you always remember?

SPEAKER_01: 18:39

Always take them out and then put them in my pocket or put them in my purse right away.

SPEAKER_00: 18:42

And you've never slipped the mind. Nope.

SPEAKER_01: 18:45

I did my house key one time. Oh, this is a bad story. I felt like such an asshole. Um, this was a couple months after we came back from Kentucky. So this is like January of 2024.

SPEAKER_00: 18:57

Um 23. It's been two years.

SPEAKER_01: 19:01

Has it been two years since Kentucky? Oh shit, yeah. So January 2023. Um and oh yeah, it was right after Patrick got diagnosed. Anyway, so I lot so my house keys are separate from my car keys, my apartment keys, because like too heavy, too heavy, and all these things. And I got out of my car and I forgot to grab my apartment key. And it the way to get back into the garage is locked. Like you have to have a key that's on said c set of keys in my car. Well, Sam and Patrick were living in the same building at the time. I call up, Patrick answers, and I'm like, Hey, can you come let me into the garage? Like, I need to get my house keys out of my car. And he shows up and like he's shirtless, and I see scars all over his abdomen. I'm like, what the fuck? And he goes, Oh, I had my gallbladder out today. And I was like, Why the hell did you come? What what? And he's like, Why did you just tell me that? It was like Sam was making dinner. He's like, we'll see how I'm speaking to her. I'm like, but you just had surgery.

SPEAKER_00: 20:03

He could have passed out in the hall. He's like, oh, it's fine. I'm like, the fuck is what? And the fact he doesn't even try to cover it up. I mean, I know he didn't like to wear clothes. But he's like, you know. Look at my wounds. I just had surgery today.

SPEAKER_01: 20:16

What the fuck happened to you? And I was like, was I supposed to know this? And if I forgot, I'm really sorry. He's like, I think I told you like a week ago. And I'm like, God damn it. I'm an asshole.

SPEAKER_00: 20:27

That's so him though. Like so nonchalant.

SPEAKER_01: 20:30

God, I was like, I feel like such an asshole. He's like, it's fine. Like, thanks. Now I can get my cart, my key.

SPEAKER_00: 20:38

Well, I can guarantee you he doesn't care anymore.

SPEAKER_01: 20:40

No. I'm convinced though that he is kind of like stalking my so I love these stories. No, so the last couple of weeks, I have just I'll be sitting there and then I'll feel like I see someone out something move or someone move out of the corner of my eye. And Hink's not either he's a thing. He's either on my lap or he's like dead asleep in the closet. Like he's not roaming around when these things happen. And I'm like, I swear to God, I just saw something or someone, and I've never, ever, ever experienced this before.

SPEAKER_00: 21:15

My friend June Hessler told me that's a psychic, like a thing. You're seeing that.

SPEAKER_01: 21:19

I literally am like, oh my God. And then last night, came home. I have a little corner table where I put my purse every night next to my front door. A couple hours later. Yes, it's all right in there because I will forget my lunch. Um, and last night, sitting on the couch, and I had not touched my purse, not gone through by that area since I got home. All of a sudden my purse fell on the floor. And I literally was, and like Hank was on my lap and he like stood up, like freaked out, and I was like, That's just your Uncle Patrick being a jackass. And I was like, Fuck you, Patrick. Like, just like scaring the shit out of me. Like, and so I was like Hank like kissing or knowing or was his like hair standing up? No, but his ears perked up and like his eyes got wide of like, why did I hear that noise? Kind of like if someone knocks on the door, he's like, What's going on?

SPEAKER_00: 22:17

What's never in? I'm never inside one of the knocking.

SPEAKER_01: 22:19

No, that's not. No, you don't. No one needs yeah, no one needs to knock. But like it just I am convinced. I and it's just been the last couple of weeks, and it is the most insane, wild thing. And I'm like, I'm probably this is probably nothing. This is probably nothing. But you telling me that it's something, I think I'm like, do I need to get my brain checked? Am I really losing it mentally? Am I really going insane?

SPEAKER_00: 22:44

No, I think that once you accept that that's what it is, you it will be easier. I won't feel like as left like it won't be like a creepy note because there's there's been times, and I'm sure I've told this story on here, but I have been in my kitchen and I saw somebody walk into my backyard. I swear to God, yes. I'm like, there isn't no fucking way that was not a human being. I swear at one point I was like, I thought someone walked into my bedroom. Yeah. And I've gone outside and walked around the perimeter of my house and there was nothing.

SPEAKER_01: 23:13

And I literally am the only one in there, and I'm like, no one comes in, or like, is someone I literally am like, is someone like staying in my closet and I just don't even know. Like exactly. I you've seen where people sneak, like homeless people sneak into people's attics and just fucking live there for months and you don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 23:30

That was a movie.

SPEAKER_01: 23:31

It's real life shit, too.

SPEAKER_00: 23:33

Yeah, no, I know, based on real life.

SPEAKER_01: 23:34

Yeah, it's fucking scary. So uh, but I'm like, no, it's just a like 900 square foot apartment. Like it's not, no, I would know, I would physically know if someone was there. And so it just is and I, you know, I was thinking last night, like I've lived there five years and I've love living alone, but I've never had question of like, am I safe or not, or anything like that, or is like someone or something creepy creeping me out, like until the last couple of weeks when these things have started happening. So I'm like second-guessing my brain of like, oh my god, I need to get my brain checked. This is fucking weird. And I'm like, someone living under my bed and I don't know it. Like, what the fuck's going on? I not I don't know. And so now that you say that, maybe I'll learn to accept it.

SPEAKER_00: 24:17

Yeah, when it happens, just kind of embrace it from not a negative place and then see how you feel.

SPEAKER_01: 24:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 24:26

Yeah. Because it it freaks you out a lot, and you do question like your sanity.

SPEAKER_01: 24:30

I literally have been questioning my sanity about this. Like, I I don't talk about it because I'm like people are gonna think you're crazy. I'm probably fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_00: 24:37

As long as you're not having headaches and you're not having like seen auras or rings or you know, like a migraine situation. No, I think you're okay. Then I don't don't think it's no, they're Patrick. You know a lot about your brain. You work in brain neuroscience. I know.

SPEAKER_01: 24:51

I I know a lot about kids' brains. I don't know a lot. My brain is very questionable some days.

SPEAKER_00: 24:56

Well, you probably know this, but they say like the brain is so intense, complex that you could look at five brains and study them very comprehensively, and they're everything's different.

SPEAKER_01: 25:10

We know probably 10% of the reality of the brain.

SPEAKER_00: 25:14

Yeah, which is been studying it for a long time, which is wild. It's just it's like a it's like a computer that we don't really know who programs.

SPEAKER_01: 25:23

And it really sucks to be like, I don't know, but like you just don't know, and something's not right, but we've never seen it before.

SPEAKER_00: 25:30

We're not sure.

SPEAKER_01: 25:31

Yeah, or it's really rare, and like we don't have enough data, so we don't know. Like it's yeah, no, I know. So, okay, I'm not going insane. I just have a creepy stalker. He's not creepy.

SPEAKER_00: 25:44

And knowing his personality, right?

SPEAKER_01: 25:45

Like he would think it's funny to be creepy and you know he's like laughing in the background of like hee hee hee hee, like his stupid little like sarcastic laugh. And he's probably like, I'm naked. And you can't make it. Basically, yes, yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 26:00

Because you were always naked. Finally in your apartment naked. Yeah, exactly. God, such a creep.

SPEAKER_01: 26:07

God, I miss that man some days a lot. But like such a creep, I miss him. I know. So what's going on with you?

SPEAKER_00: 26:16

Well, I was so I was trying to think back because we uh had talked about Comic-Con. You talked about your parents moving. I feel like you were busy with some other things.

SPEAKER_01: 26:27

I went out of town. You went out of town, yep. Um, and then I came back, then it was Thanksgiving. Okay, then it was Thanksgiving. Um you went to your sister's. Yep, I went to my sisters, and then, oh, and then then my parents moved, and then last weekend, not this past weekend, but the weekend before, when the Bears played the Packers, I went down to Gabe's in St. Paul, which is a Packers bar, and I was one of like two Bears fans there. Did you feel safe? I did actually. Um, they we all got along, like it was like a big group of so it was me and my coworker and her friend, and like we just got that we were all huddled in like this little corner alcove area, and there was like 15 of us just hanging out, talking, drinking, having a great time. And we're like, oh my god, we're gonna do this again in two weeks. And I was like, Yeah, I'll get here earlier, reserve this same spot, no big deal. Thinking the game was on a Sunday. Yeah, it usually is. Nope, it's on Saturday, which is Natalie's birthday dinner. Like it she's doing like a friend's birthday party, but for her actual birthday sleepover, but for her actual birthday, she wanted family dinner. Oh, and I was like, God damn, son of a bitch. And her actual birthday is on a Saturday? It's on Saturday, the 20th, yeah. So like she's tugging at my heartstrings with that. I'm like, but it's a really important football game, and my team is actually doing good. Like, I'm really at least somebody's is.

unknown: 27:52

I know.

SPEAKER_01: 27:53

Trust me.

SPEAKER_00: 27:55

I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall. Like, I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. The Vikings aren't good. Taylor's boyfriend's not good. Nope. So I got nothing, so I'm happy for you. So is my sister. Taylor says the same thing. I'm like, thank you. I really appreciate that. Now, if you were a Packers fan, I would not be saying that. But if you theirs are fine. I'm fine with Detroit. I used to be a big Detroit fan when Matt Stafford played. Now I'm not gonna lie, I like it because Eminem does, and I get to see him. Oh my god, did you watch him on Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_01: 28:26

God, yes, did you watch Post T2?

unknown: 28:28

Good.

SPEAKER_01: 28:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 28:30

Eminem was so good.

SPEAKER_01: 28:31

So good. I literally told everybody in the house to shut up so Kelly and I could listen.

unknown: 28:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 28:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 28:37

So I love him so much. Such a surprise. Like, surprise, like really not a surprise, right? He lives there, he goes to all the kinds of things. And he goes to all the suite. Yeah. But he is my he's my celebrity crush. I love him. I know. I love him. I love him. There are very aged, like a very fine wine.

SPEAKER_01: 28:54

There are very few people that I would pay an endless amount of money to go see live. He is one of them. I don't care if it costs me my firstborn. I don't care if it costs me my right. I do.

SPEAKER_00: 29:05

Same with Taylor. That's why I had to go to the theater and not the concert. Because I love her, but I can't afford that. And there's definitely fine.

SPEAKER_01: 29:12

I would sell a kidney on the black fucking rate.

SPEAKER_00: 29:15

Oh, well, you only need one.

SPEAKER_01: 29:16

Exactly. I will, I might only just have one. My mom was born with just one.

SPEAKER_00: 29:20

So if you have um ideas for Emily how she could make some money for when Eminem comes to town.

SPEAKER_01: 29:24

Or I will fly out to him. He does not tour or perform often.

SPEAKER_00: 29:28

Okay, well, same thing with uh okay, so no doubt is gonna play at the sphere. Yes. Yes. It is an insane amount of things. It'd be$6,000 for two people to go there for two nights.

SPEAKER_01: 29:40

Backstreet Boys, too. Because they're coming back right now.

SPEAKER_00: 29:43

I can't afford that. No. And I don't give a fuck about the sphere. No.

SPEAKER_01: 29:47

I also get like motion sickness. And so I've heard that it's really I I someone I know went there for a concert like right after it came out, and they were like, you can get motion sickness. And I was like, I I'm already nervous about my Disney trip in September of next year.

SPEAKER_00: 30:02

Is that happening?

SPEAKER_01: 30:03

It is 100% for sure. We have everything mapped out of like where we're gonna stay, what we're gonna do. We're just waiting for the date, the actual dates until we tell the air airfare comes out. So like whatever's the kind of the cheapest, but we'll for sure be there over Sam's 40th birthday. Okay. So we have like theme days that we're doing and things like that. So it's super fun to plan it. But like I'm like, you guys want to go on all these rides? I I can't even read in a car without getting sense like motion sickness now. I was like, I'm gonna have to get some meckline, a lot of it.

SPEAKER_00: 30:36

Well, they sell it on Amazon. Yes. And you know, there's a lot of other have you been to Disney in 1999. Okay, so there's a lot of things to do. So if like your friends want to go on a ride and you don't, or you and somebody else don't, yeah, there's plenty of other things to do. There's so much shopping.

SPEAKER_01: 30:53

And I know I get and that's that's what's gonna get me in trouble. So much shopping and we all know how trauma con turned out.

SPEAKER_00: 30:59

Yes, no, I know.

SPEAKER_01: 31:00

That's what I'm like, I'm gonna, I'm not doing anything fun.

SPEAKER_00: 31:03

But you can do a lot of looking. And you know, this is what I this is what I liked about Disney is I would do a lot of looking, and I I'm good for you for this because I tell you it all the time, we're gonna look at everything and then make decisions.

SPEAKER_01: 31:16

Yeah, I know. My other friends don't do that. Because I oh I like that. I like I'm like, let's look at everything and then make decisions. They admitted on Saturday. I was like, I'm nervous. I'm like, I I just am not gonna do anything fun all spring and summer unless it is the state fair. Oh, yeah, and that's it. Um because they have Disney to pay for, and I know I have a problem when I'm with you. The stamp goes, yeah, we're not a good influence. I was like, no, you're fine.

SPEAKER_00: 31:45

They're like, buy it, buy it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna make decisions later. We're gonna admire.

SPEAKER_01: 31:51

But yes, I'm excited. I'm I'm really excited. I kind of was like, oh, this is actually happening.

SPEAKER_00: 31:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 31:59

So yeah, it'll be fun.

SPEAKER_00: 32:04

I can't find my mouse. Where'd it go?

SPEAKER_01: 32:07

You weren't on the track pad!

SPEAKER_00: 32:12

All right, that's gonna do it for this episode of Honor Bus Behavior, where we covered Emily's parents moving, Disney Magic, and honestly, whatever else wandered into the room with us. A lot. Was there a theme? No. Was there a point? Also, no. But did we have thoughts and feelings and opinions we stood behind for at least three minutes at a time? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 32:32

Three minutes? Mmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 32:35

Emily is now emotionally processing moving parents. I'm probably planning a Disney trip that I don't need. And together we've proved once again that this podcast is less of a roadmap and more of a scenic detour with snacks. Did you bring snacks? No. Thanks for hanging out with us, laughing with us, and lowering your standards to just enough to come back next time. We'll be back really, really, really soon. Not like Disney wait time soon, but actual soon. Until then, this has been On Our Best Behavior, and we tried. We really did. See you next time. Bye.