On Our Best Behavior
On Our Best Behavior is a heartwarming podcast where Mom, Kelli and 16-year-old son, Maccoy delve into the complexities of school, life's struggles, highs and lows, and various challenges. With a blend of humor and sincerity, they navigate through these topics while sharing their own experiences and insights. Their conversations are not only relatable but also enlightening, offering listeners a fresh perspective on everyday issues. Alongside their engaging discussions, they welcome intriguing guests, adding a dynamic element to each episode. Tune in to join this duo on their journey of growth, learning, and discovery.
On Our Best Behavior
Thankful For You
Ever wondered if you have a "dominant eating side" or why the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive" is the perfect CPR anthem? We're back from our podcast hiatus with a playful exploration of these unique questions and more. Join us, Mac and Kelli, as we ease into the colder months, sharing some light-hearted stories about recovering from dental adventures without giving up our beloved sweets, and the delightful chaos that our pets, including a noise-making bunny named Paisley, bring to our lives.
We dive into the nuances of sex education, humorously navigating discussions on "outer course" and the role of abstinence, all while reminiscing about childhood days. Our chat takes an educational spin with the unforgettable rhythm of "Stayin' Alive" guiding our CPR moves and reveals a few surprising academic victories despite some hilarious spelling mishaps. As we chat about recent TV shows like "Ted Lasso," we sprinkle in reflections on family and gratitude, leading to a whimsical discussion about keeping chickens cozy through winter.
Tune in for a fun-filled episode that wraps up with a playful second-grade level quiz, uncovering just how much we remember from our school days. Whether it’s debating cold weather fashion choices or pondering if a Mike Tyson fight was rigged, we're here to entertain and engage with our quirky mix of humor and heartfelt moments. Join us for a journey through everyday antics and seasonal reflections, leaving you with laughter, nostalgia, and a warm sense of connection.
Hey guys, welcome back to Honor Best Behavior.
Speaker 2:I'm.
Speaker 1:Mac, and we're here with Kelly.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up? Not much. Long time, long time, no pod.
Speaker 1:Yep, long time no pod.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know like it's been a minute. Because, let me tell you, I love podcasting. Whenever I do it, I have so much fun. It's just the thought of getting everything set up that I'm like I don't have the energy for that so just to set it up yeah, it's so easy, it was fast. I know I don't know what my deal is, and but you have to be in the right mood, right to like, have the energy I guess, podcast.
Speaker 2:And so, uh, remember when I used to tell you like, bring your energy, whatever I get it.
Speaker 1:Now I get like sometimes it's hard to bring your energy and in the winter time it's dark all the time I know you can't take a nap in the day, or else you wake up and you feel like it takes forever for you to like wake up again yeah, you're just like groggy, and today I had to go to the dentist because you're not getting enough vitamin d yeah, we should start.
Speaker 2:We should start taking some vitamin add it to the vitipile I should then I went to the dentist today because I had to get dental work. It was not just the cleaning isn't it crazy? I've never had a cavity you have had to have teeth pulled out right yeah, because they want to fall out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's different though yeah, well, you just wait, it will happen. You don't eat a lot of like. I love Skittles, sugary candy, I love Skittles. I love Starburst. I love gummy worms, gummy bears. I'm trying to think what Trollies, sour Patch Kids, I don't need to eat all that chocolate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and as.
Speaker 2:I was laying on the table I was like this sucks, I hate it, but I really want a Skittle. I'm going to still eat Skittles. But then I said, do you want anesthetic? And I'm like yeah, what's anesthetic Numbing. Whatever you got, I'll take it.
Speaker 1:How much extra money is it anyways I don't even care.
Speaker 2:I think if you get nitrous, that costs extra what's nitrous like the? Laughing gas that you had. I didn't get that. I just got the shots of lidocaine and the topical lidocaine, but they gave me so much and I'm not complaining. And you were like but the other, yeah, the other side of my face was numb too. So like, how does it feel on the other side? I'm like dude, that's numb too. I, I can't tell you anything I can't feel anything right now.
Speaker 2:I can't feel my face when I'm with you. Okay, mom, and I don't like it all right, get out of here they're fine. The dogs want to be under the bed right now he's not. He's not, no, he noise. He's the only bunny I've ever had that makes noises.
Speaker 1:Are you serious? He made noises when he wasn't dying.
Speaker 2:He is going to be eight. Oh yeah, he's never been dying, he's always been alive. I mean he might be dying.
Speaker 1:for all we know he's losing fur.
Speaker 2:He's losing fur, I know, but you, you seem to do better alone, he is having the best.
Speaker 1:Look at Violet. She's like what about me? I'm going to take a picture of her right now. She wants to go potty. No, Look at her.
Speaker 2:No, don't say that word. Violet, are you podcast puppy? That's a pretty girl.
Speaker 1:Are we going potty?
Speaker 2:No, no, stop, she's going to get. You know how she you start spinning in circles, you always get. It's time to decompress.
Speaker 1:McCoy, no, it's not it is.
Speaker 2:I don't know what time it is. It is time to decompress. That's what time it is, it's 6 o'clock.
Speaker 1:That's not decompression time. Decompression time is 8 o'clock.
Speaker 2:It's dark out, it's nighttime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you're saying decompression time is at 5?
Speaker 2:It because I'm freezing cold from eating this side, and then I am going to have some hot soup and I'm going to bed.
Speaker 1:And then you're going to also make me some taquitos. Yeah, I'll make you some.
Speaker 2:I probably want some of them, If I can eat them. I want some of those. I still am numb on this side and this is my dominant eating side, so it's going to be hard for me to eat on the non-dominant. You have a dominant eating side, don't you usually eat on one side of your mouth.
Speaker 1:No, every time I have to put bands in, I just kind of eat whatever side doesn't have a band on it.
Speaker 2:Don't you take those off now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do. I eat because they're like this. It's like yeah, I can't eat.
Speaker 2:That was a really cute look. It's just really hard because you can't like.
Speaker 1:It's like this long, I don't even know. It's like this long of a width, the um the band yeah it's like an inch long, not even and I can't a lot of food's bigger than that yeah like a whole chip.
Speaker 2:Just it's just blocked, can't get it in there do you feel like you don't eat as much because it's a pain in the ass? Yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:So I have a question that I want to know and listeners, please feel free to answer me and let me know, because I was listening to something and they were talking about this and they said that this is an old lady thing to do. And this was like a real hard realization for me, because I do it and I was like, oh my God, now I'm in the old lady category. So when there's dirty dishes in the sink, do you, if you have dirty silverware and there's a cup in there, do you fill the cup up with water to let the silverware soak?
Speaker 1:I do Wait. What Wait? You fill the cup up and put the silver in there, I do that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they say that's an old lady thing, that isn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do it because it's because if I don't, if you don't wash them or let them sit, that washer isn't going to wash it off. So I always make sure. If there's too much hard stuff, I scrub it off, Okay thank you Because I know it ain't going to work.
Speaker 2:Do you do it because you've seen me do it my whole life.
Speaker 1:No, because I know it isn't going to work, because I've seen what happens when you do put stuff in there with a lot of shit on it Less work.
Speaker 2:Less work when you load the dishwasher and's hard to scrub it off.
Speaker 1:So what are you going to do? Put it back in the thing and just let someone take it?
Speaker 2:No, I'm saying, that's why you put it in the cup and let it soak. Oh, yeah, so that it gets loose, so you're not trying to scrub it off dry. Have you tried to scrub one off dry? No, it hurts.
Speaker 1:Can you stop?
Speaker 2:No, never, I, no, never.
Speaker 1:I had a feeling you were going to say that Never, I already knew you were.
Speaker 2:That's called me being funny.
Speaker 1:Remember the other day when you told me that you want me to be a fun mom. Hey guys, Welcome back to your home. And then you also told me I'm cringe at the same time. Hey guys, Welcome back to Welcome back to. I got to take a poop.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I want to talk about. Remember when we went on a date night to the Italian. Yeah, was that fun. Yeah, barzinis, shout out to Barzinis in Anoka. How about that lava cake? Holy shit, that sounds like a 10 right now.
Speaker 1:We should go there again.
Speaker 2:Just go there for dessert. Yeah, I'm sad, oh that was yummy, Yum, yum yum, yum, yum, fat. Oh, that was yummy.
Speaker 1:Yum yum yum, yum yum yum.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me about so. I'm really intrigued because in your health class you guys were talking about things that I like to talk about, so tell me about that.
Speaker 1:I don't know man.
Speaker 2:Tell me about health class. What did you guys talk about? I signed that thing saying like you have my permission to talk about whatever, yeah. So what did you guys talk about?
Speaker 1:Sex, and then we also talked about CPR and I was like, really, Sex and CPR yeah. That was it.
Speaker 2:I got nothing. I was trying to think of a funny joke, but I got nothing. So what did you-?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're really looking like you're thinking so tell me about the sex talk.
Speaker 2:What did they tell you? Did they call it sex or did they call it intercourse a little bit of both.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, any outer course. I don't know what that is. Okay, talk about that. Do you want me to tell you what? Outer course?
Speaker 2:it's anything on the so like for a girl, so all right for sex intercourses you, you enter the penis into the vagina. That's inter inter okay, now it's outer on the outside, so like oral sex, touching or petting as they call it, fingers on the outside only, not on the inner so do you understand? Yeah, I understand, yeah inner course versus outer course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, I understand it they didn't talk about outer course. Yeah, okay, I understand it now.
Speaker 2:They didn't talk about outer course.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Did they say abstinence is the way I don't know Do you know what abstinence is.
Speaker 1:Nope.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, the school has failed me. Abstinence means you don't have sex at all.
Speaker 1:Oh, I understand it now.
Speaker 2:Save yourself for marriage or for God.
Speaker 1:I understand it now. Okay, I understand it now.
Speaker 2:So tell me what else they talked about.
Speaker 1:A little bit of this and that you know.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It was like some like Did you just check out? Like I don't want to hear any of this.
Speaker 1:No, it was stuff I already knew that you told me, bro.
Speaker 2:I've taught you everything they should come teach that class, that'd be fun.
Speaker 1:It was stuff that I already knew. I feel like Okay.
Speaker 2:Did you learn anything new?
Speaker 1:And then it was them telling us like you shouldn't do this. You should do this.
Speaker 2:Okay, so tell me one thing you should not do.
Speaker 1:I don't remember.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me based on what I have taught you. And then they talked about like that.
Speaker 1:They, you know, like stuff to like, to not like the pill. What does the pill do?
Speaker 2:again, it makes you not get pregnant, yeah.
Speaker 1:They talked about stuff that is like the best to not get you pregnant. So what's the best?
Speaker 2:I don't remember Abstinence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember anything.
Speaker 2:All right, there's a lot. So what birth control pills do is they prevent ovulation, and so if you don't ovulate, so ovulation is when a woman releases an egg.
Speaker 2:And then when the egg is released, it can be fertilized by sperm. So when you take birth control pills at the same time every day, like you're supposed to, then that prevents ovulation. So there's no egg released to get fertilized. That's how birth control pills work. Now if you take your birth control pill late or you forget to take it, then guess what you can get pregnant because you can spontaneously ovulate if there's nothing stopping ovulation. And so when people say, well, I got pregnant on the pill, it's probably because, number one, they didn't take it right, or, number two, it's not 100% effective. Which is why I always tell you I don't care if a girl says that they're on birth control. They're not on birth control, unless you are actively trying to make a baby. You cover the hump the hump, you cover the stump before you hump.
Speaker 2:Or as Jima would say, if you're anticipating it to rain, aka if it's going to get wet, make sure you use your raincoat, which is a condom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know what the raincoat is All right.
Speaker 2:Tell me about CPR. Did you learn? Ha, ha, ha ha. Stay in the life, mom. That's how they teach CPR.
Speaker 1:They don't, they didn't do that shit.
Speaker 2:I had CPR this year and that's how they do it I don't know where the rest of it goes. I can tell by the way I look and walk. You're a lady. You look like a crazy person right now. Look at her, you're so cute. She's happy puppy, no no, and don't jump up here, because you always tear all my shit off. Get out.
Speaker 1:She's like buddy McCoy. That's funny. Do you want to die? Stop fooling Justin. What is that? He does it all the time when I'm in the car with him. He says, he does it all the time when I'm in the car with him, he says do you?
Speaker 2:want to die? Yeah, when I piss him off. He learned that from me for sure.
Speaker 1:I've never heard you say it until Justin came along.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't know. You probably don't even remember anything. I said before that because you were six.
Speaker 1:No, I was conscious. I was conscious.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me your first memory, tell me the first thing that you remember. That's not a story or a picture that you heard. What do you think your first?
Speaker 1:what does that mean?
Speaker 2:like what's the in your lifetime? Being with jima all the time okay, you remember being with jima before.
Speaker 1:You remember being with me uh, yeah, I was at her house all the time. Yeah, you were.
Speaker 2:I was literally there half the day, yeah, so, yeah, no you were there like for a full work day because she watched you while I went to work yeah. So that was a while. So what's the first?
Speaker 1:thing you remember with GEMA or at GEMA's Going to the park.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, she did do that a lot.
Speaker 1:Going to the pool.
Speaker 2:And hop on the scooter. She'd take you to different parks, yeah, and you I did. That's fun. It's fun to remember. It's also fun for me to hear what you remember and what was fun. That makes me feel happy, all right.
Speaker 1:Are you certified in CPR? Now? I'm certified turtle.
Speaker 2:Speaking of that, I was guested on a podcast called Bigfoot Club Search it up, and they asked me what is a certified turtle? And I said I don't know. So can you tell everyone what a certified turtle is, when you got that?
Speaker 1:from. It's so stupid, I don't care, you did it All right.
Speaker 2:So a certified turtle?
Speaker 1:it's not even like a thing, it's just like a TikTok video, all right, so Certified Turtle? It's not even like a thing, it's just like it was a TikTok video. And this guy is like doing an interview. And he goes up there and he's like and the guy's like what's your name, man? And he's like Certified Turtle and he starts pretending to be like box, like Like a box in the air.
Speaker 2:Like a teenage mutant, ninja turtle, I don't know.
Speaker 1:He's like pretend boxing, like nothing, and they tell him to get the fuck out of there and that's like it.
Speaker 2:And it's just really funny because it's so out of the pocket. Because it was just random. They were trying to actually get his name and he just was being.
Speaker 1:He's like certified turtle. It's just so random.
Speaker 2:Well now we know Alright, are so random. Well now you. Now we know all right, I was just see if you're gonna say anything, but you're just putting the microphone up against your cheek.
Speaker 2:You're so weird so anyway I want to tell, so backing up the truck a little bit. Number one if you listen to our last podcast episode, it was with Kimberly from Good For you Girls, and you can still use promo code BEHAVIOR20 to get 20% off your order. And you can either order on goodforyougirlscom and they also sell their product on walmartcom. So make sure you enter promo code behavior 20 to receive 20 off, which is huge, all right, so, yes, so I guessed on the bigfoot club. Yeah, and it was really fun. Like I'm always nervous when people ask me to guest on their podcast because I'm like, what are we going to talk about? Like, am I that?
Speaker 1:you're nervous to get a guest no to be a guest.
Speaker 2:Oh, because I never know, like, do I have enough interesting nervous to get a guest?
Speaker 1:exciting. No to be a guest. Oh, because I never know. Like do I have?
Speaker 2:enough interesting things to talk about. No, no, bueno, no, but it was really fun and it was really natural and I feel like we had good podcast chemistry.
Speaker 1:You're a very locked in talker.
Speaker 2:I feel like I can talk forever, right, but do people actually like hearing what I have to say?
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, why would they want to talk to you?
Speaker 2:I know what I'm saying, Like I forget that.
Speaker 1:I am that cool. Even though you tell me I'm cringe, tell them the good things about you. Cringe is funny.
Speaker 2:Cringe is funny. Funny is good. I thought cringe was like ooh Well, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I'm going to be like what the hell yeah?
Speaker 2:What the hell? Yeah, I thought it was going to be good when I was at Target A little bit of this and that you know Dancing around to the music.
Speaker 1:You're like mom, you're so cringe. It didn't make me like oh, it was funny. Oh, okay, you looked embarrassed. I didn't look embarrassed at all, I just thought you were a goober, yeah, a goober.
Speaker 2:I'm offended. Why are you just blew out everyone's ears and speakers? I probably did you either don't talk in the mic or you scream in the mic. Also, we were talking about how your superpower Is sound effects. So let's hear some. And we were talking about how your sound effects Used to be cool like a machine gun and now they're just like random, weird. What's your machine gun sound? I don't know. You did you forgot it. I don't want, I don't have one on my phone. You did you forgot it.
Speaker 1:I don't want to do it.
Speaker 2:That's why no, it's so good, I don't remember how to do it.
Speaker 1:The machine gun the.
Speaker 2:I don't remember how to do it. You don't know how to do it anymore.
Speaker 1:You were so good at it. Asthog, I'm not ugly as shit. Warthogs are ugly.
Speaker 2:Not on.
Speaker 1:Lion King. Have you ever seen Lion King? That's a freaking cartoon.
Speaker 2:That's what the song is from when I was a young warthog, when he was a young warthog.
Speaker 1:I'm a hair goober. I'm sending.
Speaker 2:Can you do Give me?
Speaker 1:some sound effects I don't know. Okay's hear some of the annoying sound effects that you have no. No, yeah, yeah, I don't know man, there's so many. Yeah, yeah, repeating the same thing over and over, yeah that's what you do. So at my work no bueno.
Speaker 2:so at my work yeah, no bueno at my work we're doing pod decorating, pod pod decorating contest for christmas and I think that my pod's gonna win what's a pod?
Speaker 1:you know like well you've been to my work before so you know like when you come in, like where my desk is yeah like that's one pod and then there's three oh, pods like you're, like where you work, yeah, like your care team, your care station, like your desk, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:But it's made of like multiple people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, so our theme is gingerbread house and oh, so you have to decorate your freaking desk If you come have lunch with me. This week I will.
Speaker 2:You're gonna see it and it's badass.
Speaker 1:I will.
Speaker 2:Certified turtle.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have lunch with you on Friday, okay, well, it depends which day. Whatever day is warmer this week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we should look.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right now.
Speaker 2:No, not right now Right in this second.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'll look.
Speaker 2:You got quiet Mom?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I was wondering if you were going to actually talk about something or if you're waiting for me to just lead the way. Wait.
Speaker 2:So wait, wait Tuesday. Wait, today is Monday.
Speaker 1:Wednesday is going to be high. It's a 29. Thursday is going to be high. It's 26. Friday is going to be the coldest.
Speaker 2:What's tomorrow?
Speaker 1:The hottest.
Speaker 2:We'll come tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's going to be 29.
Speaker 2:But my new lunchtime is 1145. So you're going to have to be there.
Speaker 1:Wait, what time is it going to be at?
Speaker 2:That's 1145.
Speaker 1:It's going to be 29 exactly. I know it isn't Well, at least you have your e-bike 1145?.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you're looking at what time it's going to be.
Speaker 1:That'll be like 27 right well, wear a hat, it's gonna be the highest one, where you can wear my little headband and mittens, a jacket.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I can't believe your lips made that much noise what the? Do it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't yeah I'm laughing too much I can't you mean the I can't? I'm laughing too much. I can't. You mean the I can't. I can't. You're making me laugh, okay.
Speaker 2:You just look at my face and you laugh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty funny looking.
Speaker 2:I do have this big zit right here right now.
Speaker 1:I thought part of getting older, like one of the perks was I had a little bit of a thing going on my nose, tip of my nose. What?
Speaker 2:was it An icicle?
Speaker 1:No A boogersicle.
Speaker 2:No, is it? Yeah, did you pop it? Did you pop that pimple? That's so gross, that's so gross. Ew. Why do you have so much saliva in your mouth? I don't.
Speaker 1:I Ew, why do you have so much saliva in your mouth?
Speaker 2:I don't, I can't even do it All right, come on, we got to move on. All right, chicken update.
Speaker 1:Chicken.
Speaker 2:So now that I have four chickens and 17 bunnies, I'm really excited.
Speaker 1:We have one bunny. I have one bunny, but we are. You got to tell them about the?
Speaker 2:Well, I really want to get outdoor bunnies this summer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, paisley made noise, did you hear?
Speaker 2:him. Yeah, it's because he's like itching himself or whatever. He's always made noise.
Speaker 1:He's not dying.
Speaker 2:He's not dying. Don't say that, oh, he's doing it again. So I bought a little animal house for my future bunnies. But I don't want to wait until, like it's summer Summer. Okay, so chicken update. I'm going to have so many eggs this summer.
Speaker 1:I mean maybe.
Speaker 2:So I'm having somebody build me a self-serve fresh egg stand.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I can sell my eggs when In the front yard. So you have a permit for that. No, you don't have to Sir you need a permit, you don't need a permit.
Speaker 1:So what? You're going to get a stand, you have a stand.
Speaker 2:As a city of Anoka. Commissioner, you don't need a permit to have an egg stand.
Speaker 1:You do ma'am.
Speaker 2:I'm going to punch you, Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, it's just a joke.
Speaker 2:Yeah, lick my feet, girl. If you're Creepy, you say I'm creepy. You're over there letting Violet just lick the shit out of your toes.
Speaker 1:Don't act like you don't like it. I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 2:I have socks on, yeah, but you're over there, keep licking my feet. Oh my gosh, you're cringe. I'm taking a video of this right now. Stop it.
Speaker 1:You can yeah, she can keep licking my feet. I don't want Shit.
Speaker 2:I took a picture.
Speaker 1:She's cleaning me, she's making sure I'm clean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why she's got to lick so much, because she's dirty as fuck.
Speaker 1:I literally took a shower a couple hours ago, though. Yeah, you did, you're right. Okay, all right, I must just taste good. I must be able to soak that stuff on the floor. So anyway, if you're looking for farm fresh?
Speaker 2:well, maybe not. Farm fresh. Farm Fresh? Well, maybe not.
Speaker 1:Farm Fresh If you're looking for city fresh eggs.
Speaker 2:Holla at your girl this summer or hit up the self-serve egg station.
Speaker 1:They're funny.
Speaker 2:I'm going to charge $5 for eight eggs $5 for eight eggs.
Speaker 1:That's a good deal.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to have a little pay box where you put in your money, or I'm going to have my little Venmo code up there.
Speaker 1:Venmo, and or I'm going to have my little Venmo code up there, venmo, and then I'm going to have a little egg. So you're just going to put your eggs out there and then people just come and take them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like in a cooler and. I'll have them in the carton and then it will be $5 per carton.
Speaker 1:You think people are going to steal them?
Speaker 2:I mean hopefully, not Hopefully there's good people out there, otherwise you're not going to watch the stand, you're not going to be outside by the stand.
Speaker 1:But you're going to watch the stand from the side. I have a ring doorbell.
Speaker 2:I'll see if they don't pay. I'll see their face, I'll see their license plate number and I'll be like did you pay for those bitch Bam?
Speaker 1:With your airsoft gun.
Speaker 2:That's what.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do. It's not going to hurt that bad when they have a jacket Make sure that you are an honest person.
Speaker 2:Not a jacket on, but a shirt on. That airsoft gun doesn't really hurt it's going to be summer, they're not going to have very many clothes on A shirt doesn't really hurt that bad If it's a t-shirt or a tank top or shorts, knee caps. Going for the knee gun, I lost the battery. Well, they sell new ones, so you can update it. What?
Speaker 1:are you doing over there? I don't know, I'm itching my balls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see that I'm like you're standing up and now you're like what are you?
Speaker 1:doing over there Is my leg itches, okay, man.
Speaker 2:Are you sure it's your leg? Are you playing pocket pool?
Speaker 1:No, what the hell, mom, I'm not playing a pocket pool.
Speaker 2:Don't do that in my bedroom or in front of me, you psycho.
Speaker 1:I wasn't doing that. I was itching my balls and then I had to itch my leg and I had to put my underwear down because they're all the way up here.
Speaker 2:Keep your undies on. They are on. So Gwen Stefani came out with a new CD, really, and it's pretty country, is it Super Cool Cat. It's super country. Even though she said it's not a country album, I'm pretty sure it's a country album. Here's the thing about Gwen Stefani she's my queen and McCoy yeah. I'm sorry, it's decompression time Tyson and Violet get out.
Speaker 1:They want to be in here. Get out Tyson and Joseph get out Tyson and Joseph Look at him he's limping.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's got his bad hip. Get the fuck out.
Speaker 1:You had to close that door, and she's like oh shit, look at how cute they are, though they didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2:Damn, it is your fault.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Because you're getting them all riled up and I'm over here trying to talk to you about Gwen Stefani's new album.
Speaker 1:I'm listening though.
Speaker 2:And it's really important to me, and that's you just don't even, you just Ignore me.
Speaker 1:I'm not ignoring you. I'm listening, I'm hearing the words that are coming out of your mouth.
Speaker 2:All right, so anyway, I am not the biggest twanger ever.
Speaker 1:Twanger.
Speaker 2:Country music fan.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:But I love Gwen Stefani and anything she makes or writes or designs, I love it. It's just who I am. And the other thing about Gwen is I just feel like her and I and this is a little psycho, but I just feel like her and I have been on the same wavelength of life. So every time she comes out with a new album and I listen to it, I think that's what is going on in my life right now.
Speaker 1:Mom, I think you might be a little crazy, so.
Speaker 2:I just feel like we're soul sisters oh my God, that was a little bit crazy. All right, tell me about all your finals. You're on vacation for Thanksgiving. You took all your finals. Yeah, do you know all your grades? I don't really know actually. I should probably look at them.
Speaker 1:They should be good, though. My last tests were all really good.
Speaker 2:How did your?
Speaker 1:I did really good at math. That was the only class that I was really worried about was my math, because it was a C for a little bit. Then I took a test and I don't know what it went up to, and I got an A on my math test my last one.
Speaker 2:The last time I looked at your grades. Live on the podcast you cried I didn't cry. Alright, well, you're grounded.
Speaker 1:Am I actually?
Speaker 2:No, just kidding, but your lowest score is in math and you got a C. See, I'm chilling. Yeah, let's go. Oh, hang on, I'm confused.
Speaker 1:What Is there? One that has a percentage.
Speaker 2:Okay, no. So this one says all right, geometry A, you got a B.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know Some of them is kind of weird to read.
Speaker 2:What's this Geometry? A college, it's like.
Speaker 1:We had a whole other system for it. I don't know.
Speaker 2:So do you have a C or a B?
Speaker 1:I have there's like two courses of that class.
Speaker 2:It's weird. So maybe you have a B minus C plus Something like that it's really weird class.
Speaker 1:I don't know how to explain it. It's really weird.
Speaker 2:Health A minus.
Speaker 1:I already know All my other classes are A's From there.
Speaker 2:Essential English, you in mainstream English A minus.
Speaker 1:I know it's so easy. You can read and write now. Yeah, I've been able to do that. Oh my god, Logan doesn't believe me. He says I still can't. I don't know how to spell purple, apparently. How do you spell purple? I don't know P. I don't know how to spell purple, I don't spell it. I have no reason to spell that word ever.
Speaker 2:What? What? If you have to write a paper, then I'll lock in and I'll remember it.
Speaker 1:Oh my, God, I do better writing stuff on paper than in my head. I'm not going to lie. It's like a thing Same. Like it's so weird, like I can't spell it out, but then I'll give me a paper and I'll actually know how to write it A. No way, I'm so locked in on history, you go boy. My teacher said I was really good and he says have you always been good? I was like no, he's surprised.
Speaker 2:Final project in history 23 out of 24.
Speaker 1:Holy shit, I'm locked in bro. Yeah, holy shit, I thought I did shit on that. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2:You did really good on that. I'm him, guys, I'm him. I'm like Jack Never mind, never mind All right. Oh, you really sucked at your geometry. Final Eight out of 16. That's an F. That's an F, bro.
Speaker 1:At least it was only 10% of my grade, I'd be fucked.
Speaker 2:That's what brought you down. That is what brought you down. I don't see any well, luckily am I final in english. Five out of five. I'm good. I'm just trying to look at all the finals. That's it. Final essay. Oh, that was in us history. You did really good on that, so math used to be your best subject I know shit, and now it's like, and now it's like us. History is my best, uh yeah, and that used to be your worst. And English, I mean, you've always had good grades in English.
Speaker 1:I don't know how, because you're really bad at reading and writing.
Speaker 2:I'm just like that, but I still love you. Let's talk about the Mike Tyson fight. No, what it's the stupidest shit ever.
Speaker 1:It's rigged. It was some bullshitged.
Speaker 2:It was some bullshit. It was some bullshit okay, let me tell you, so I love mike tyson, my our dog is named after, just for 20 mil bro I know, I know, but you could just tell, like you know, whatever netflix you can't do, love is blind live.
Speaker 2:How in the world did you think you're gonna be able to do a mike tyson fight live stream, like, get your shit figured out before you keep doing this to everybody. And I don't like jake paul. I have some respect for him because he made himself famous off of youtube and has continued to make so much money. He was a problem child on youtube. I asked you if you ever watched him and you said no. But anyway, I don't like him. I wanted mike tyson to knock his ass out, but he could have. It was a script. There's no way mike tyson was gonna beat up jake paul there was, you could see it was no.
Speaker 2:If it was a real fight, jake paul would have knocked his ass out in the first one to three rounds no, no man okay, I'm just telling you what I think.
Speaker 1:Mike Tyson did eat a lot of good shots, though. He what Like? He ate up some of his shots though. He like took some hits, you mean, yeah, okay, so I don't know man.
Speaker 2:All right, last thing on my agenda and then I have a fun quiz and a joke. No, no, no, oh, actually I have a couple more things. So I finished Ted Lasso and it was really cute. It took me. To be honest, I think Ted Lasso was a little overrated, but I think by season two because I think there's only three seasons by mid-season two, I was like, okay, I kind of like this, and then it ended nice, and now I've been watching. This is also an oldie, but a goodie. Severance An oldie. Yeah, severance is a show I started watching. I heard about it, but I just recently got Apple.
Speaker 1:TV, is that?
Speaker 2:the Shocker show. No, that's Ted Lasso.
Speaker 1:I like that.
Speaker 2:I like that one yeah it's funny, severance is at when you're not at work. You don't know, you don't remember anything about work, so it's like severed that's weird, yeah that's weird. Yeah, severed severance is the name all right, ready for? Oh yeah, yeah, I heard it sounds like an earthquake.
Speaker 1:Is it actually like?
Speaker 2:I feel the earth move under my feet. I feel the sky.
Speaker 1:Okay, alright you sang a lot of songs, this podcast so far. I know like remember last time when I was like yelling a song, last time Justin was like. He was like you better not be singing that upstairs, what?
Speaker 2:alright, it's Thanksgiving week.
Speaker 1:Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:I want to humble you and ask you what are you thankful for?
Speaker 1:I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful that I can be a fatty.
Speaker 2:You're not fat.
Speaker 1:I'm thankful for all the friends I have yeah, all the friends you have.
Speaker 2:Hell, yeah, I thought you said all the friends I have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all the friends you have Hell, yeah, I thought you said all the fans you have. I mean, I guess yeah.
Speaker 2:I am thankful for that, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm taking that and I'm thankful for the puppies. So cute.
Speaker 2:What about the chickens?
Speaker 1:I'm going to make them Kentucky Fried Chicken. I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:You're grounded. No, it's a joke, your face is a joke and it's going to be real funny when I ground you. I'm never taking you to Dave's Hot Chicken again. No, please. No, you're going to have to.
Speaker 1:No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it. You're going to have to redeem yourself how.
Speaker 2:You better figure it out.
Speaker 1:Do all the dishes.
Speaker 2:Tell me how much you love the chickens and how cute they are. I do love the chickens, ari's so cute.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? She's the prettiest girl, she's even cuter than Violet.
Speaker 2:No, and you, she's out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I didn't see her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's out there, she's like so for the wintertime the water freezes right, because it's freaking cold here, oh yeah, so how are you going to get in the water?
Speaker 1:29 degrees.
Speaker 2:So in the run it plugs in so that it doesn't freeze. Oh, really it's not hot, but it just makes it so it doesn't get freezing. Uh-huh, ari was the only one who knew how to use that.
Speaker 1:Actually, well, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so she's been. So now they're all learning how, because now their water outside is frozen.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's actually frozen yet. Yeah, oh yeah, it's like 20 degrees.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's 29 degrees, so what temperature is freezing?
Speaker 1:30?
Speaker 2:2. 32.
Speaker 1:Oh, actually well, 30.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you had the right idea. So, anyway. Now they're like oh, how did you get that water? We want water, all right, I don't know I don't know what I was going, what I was talking about.
Speaker 1:I lost my train of thought You're talking about how the you have a thing and it's getting cold and the water yeah, so you just plug it in so the water doesn't freeze. And then inside the coop.
Speaker 2:it's heated in there because I know it the coop, but I just can't. I can't.
Speaker 1:Why should you not heat the coop?
Speaker 2:Because they say that chickens can keep themselves warm enough. But I just feel terrible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just heat it up. They like it warm. I know.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't keep it like 70 degrees in there, but I just keep it warm enough Like 60?
Speaker 1:Like so their little 60, 50?, poor 50.
Speaker 2:So their poor little feet don freeze, chili, chili Because chickens get frostbite on their feet and on their waddles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually.
Speaker 2:And on their comb they can get frostbite. Chili, chili.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Do you want to know what I'm thankful for? Do you care Hell?
Speaker 1:yeah, I care.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm thankful for the life I've built, I'm thankful for the family that I've made, and I'm thankful for the family that I've made and I'm thankful for I just love everything that we have going on. We have a lot of hobbies and a lot of things that we're interested in so.
Speaker 2:I'm just really thankful that I have a family that I enjoy. Alright, let's do it. I have some quiz questions for you. Are you smarter than a second grade? These are second grade level questions. So, listeners, I want you to see if you know. Let me see if you can, if you know these faster than Mackie. I'm ready, okay, ready 85.
Speaker 1:I can't get in.
Speaker 2:All right, first question is a math question.
Speaker 1:What is?
Speaker 2:29 plus 34?. What is 29 plus 34?
Speaker 1:Wait, 29 plus 34? Yep 63. Good job, I wish I got that.
Speaker 2:I need a calculator Calculator. This is a science question.
Speaker 1:My legging of my, your legging. No I not got the Nike pros on.
Speaker 2:Do you want some for Christmas? No, you can't some for Christmas. No, you can't even wear boxer briefs, I'm pretty sure you can't wear Nike pros.
Speaker 1:No, my balls are getting strangled bro.
Speaker 2:You told me that your package is too big for boxer briefs.
Speaker 1:Yep, they are All right. Next question All right Science question.
Speaker 2:What are the three states of matter?
Speaker 1:Solid liquid gas. Damn, I went to known that Like I got a lot of the gas.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, welcome back to. I Gotta Take a Poop. All right, this is a time question.
Speaker 1:Times like multiplication, no, no no, like time clock. Oh, okay, okay, I'm pretty good at this, I'm good.
Speaker 2:You really struggled with this, though, when you were younger. I'm pretty good at this, I'm good. You really struggled with this, though, when you were younger.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty good at it.
Speaker 2:now I feel like what time is it when it's 15 minutes after 9.30? 9.45.
Speaker 1:Good job.
Speaker 2:How many inches are in one foot 12. Good job, Light work no reaction. Last question what is the name of a building where things are made Factory, factory? I am going to have to make these harder. You are smarter than a second grader. You got them all right. All right, do you have a? Would you rather for me?
Speaker 1:Heck. No, I got one. No, would you rather have no internet? I can't hear you. Would you rather have no internet? I can't hear you. Would you rather have no internet or no phone?
Speaker 2:No phone because I barely talk or text, but I'm on that internet all the time.
Speaker 1:Dude, you have some prickles in your freaking bed sheet, dude.
Speaker 2:It's from my feather bed. Don't you get those from your feather bed?
Speaker 1:No, not that they stick out like that.
Speaker 2:No, this one's newer than yours.
Speaker 1:Mine's pretty old and crusty Speaking of, feather beds.
Speaker 2:I did ask for a new mattress for Christmas. Bro, Did you tell?
Speaker 1:Is that going to be as much money as my PC?
Speaker 2:No, it's like 200 bucks.
Speaker 1:Oh, actually, mattresses are that fucking cheap. I sent it to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a hybrid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you sent me a lot of stuff Spring and foam. I still need Justin about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hook me up boyfriend Boyfriend. Huh, it's just like you know, like if you have a friend and it's you can have, like you can have friends that are boys Boyfriend.
Speaker 1:I don't call any of my friends boyfriend.
Speaker 2:Do you call any of your girlfriends girlfriend? I?
Speaker 1:don't have any of those.
Speaker 2:You don't have any friends that are girls. Nope, they all try to date me. No, you are pretty hot I know I'm a bad bitch. Right, you are a bad bitch, that's because I made you my god hey I'm not doing this right now all right. What's your answer? Internet or what is?
Speaker 1:it cell phone or internet. I need my xbox I.
Speaker 2:I need my Xbox, I know you do, but would you still like video games as much if they weren't online, if they were only like story?
Speaker 1:mode, not as much, no, no. I wouldn't play them as much. I get so bored.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we're going to revoke your Xbox Live subscription. What I just wanted to see your face.
Speaker 1:That was not nice.
Speaker 2:I shit bricks.
Speaker 1:Well, it wasn't nice when you said you were going to KSP my chicken. That is fair, that is fair, that is fair.
Speaker 2:Karma, is my boyfriend Alright ready for this funny joke? It's super inappropriate, just in time for the holidays.
Speaker 1:Doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you after I tell you the joke. Oh my, god. Chitter chatter. If your kids are listening, you might want to shut this off. What do you call it when a man ejaculates on someone's breasts? A chicken lover, a chestnut and it's holiday because Chestnuts roasting on a.
Speaker 1:Don't know what that is.
Speaker 2:It's a Christmas song, jack Frost nipping at your nose.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna lie, mom, I don't really know a lot of.
Speaker 2:Although it's been said Many times, many ways, merry Christmas To you, oh my god. Anyways, merry Christmas to you. It's an earthquake, oh my God. Thank you for listening to On Our Best Behavior, on our best behavior.
Speaker 1:See you next time See you guys.
