On Our Best Behavior
On Our Best Behavior is a heartwarming podcast where Mom, Kelli and 15-year-old son, Maccoy delve into the complexities of school, life's struggles, highs and lows, and various challenges. With a blend of humor and sincerity, they navigate through these topics while sharing their own experiences and insights. Their conversations are not only relatable but also enlightening, offering listeners a fresh perspective on everyday issues. Alongside their engaging discussions, they welcome intriguing guests, adding a dynamic element to each episode. Tune in to join this duo on their journey of growth, learning, and discovery.
On Our Best Behavior
Embracing Singlehood
Ever wondered what it means to be a "certified turtle," or how one can lose their phone in the most absurd places? Buckle up for a whirlwind of laughter and insights as Mac and Kelli tackle life’s quirks and mishaps. From a hilarious water bottle incident at the homecoming game to the antics of nerdy smiles and social media, this episode promises to keep you entertained while navigating parent-approved content with a cheeky twist.
Join us for a spontaneous quiz session where Eskimos, Olympic rings, and the good witch from "The Wizard of Oz" create a comedy of errors that highlights generational knowledge gaps. We explore the sanctuary of a "she shed," the upsides of single life, and the choice to dodge dating drama. Through light-hearted banter, we delve into the liberation of embracing singlehood, the humor in everyday blunders, and the quest for personal space without breaking the bank.
In a heartfelt conclusion, Mac and Kelli share their journeys of self-discovery, reflecting on past toxic relationships and the joy of finding a non-romantic soulmate in friendship. With a nod to the importance of self-awareness and mutual support, they champion personal growth and authentic connections. Plus, stay tuned for previews of upcoming surprises, including special guest appearances and celebrations. Get ready for an episode that balances humor with genuine reflection, ensuring a delightful listen from start to finish.
Hey guys, welcome back to On Our Best Behavior. You're here with Mac and Kelly.
Speaker 2:You are so good at that. It's like it's the only job you have. It might be, actually it might be Thank you for listening to our podcast On Our Best Behavior. In case you can't hear Mac, you need to. I was just gonna say something to you and now guess what my mind Gone. You have me a certified turtle, aren't?
Speaker 1:you Mom.
Speaker 2:What is a certified turtle? I don't know you don't know Guess how many times I lost my phone since we podcasted last. Probably like 100, at least 564. Would you count it? No, but that's how much it feels like you lose it at least once a day.
Speaker 1:I lose it all the time.
Speaker 2:All right, oh, I remember what I was going to tell you. So last week we didn't do a podcast because I had a guest. And you know, every time I have a guest they say where's McCoy? Really yeah. And I always say you know, he's just really not a big fan of doing interviews. So I do that part.
Speaker 1:How do you?
Speaker 2:feel about that? What about you knowing what I actually like? No about. How do you feel that people ask, like, if you're going to make an appearance and you don't, but they're kind of requesting that you do? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, I can, I don't mind doing it.
Speaker 2:Okay, you're a man of not many words.
Speaker 1:I know that's what everyone says.
Speaker 2:I like to keep it short and simple Speaking of a man of not many words. What's new? Tell me what's been going on. Catch me up on your life.
Speaker 1:I'm a certified turtle now, as you guys know.
Speaker 2:Can you tell me, what that means?
Speaker 1:I don't know what it means. I'm just a certified turtle.
Speaker 2:Where did you hear that from?
Speaker 1:I'm a certified turtle. It means I'm a boxer. Certified turtle. It means I'm a boxer Yep, all right.
Speaker 2:I'm going to Google this right now. You should not Google that, mom. I'm going to Google it. Uh-oh, you said it 10 million times and now we're going to find out. We're going to find out, all right.
Speaker 3:Hang on, hang on you don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:If it's like some porno shit that pops up, you're in trouble.
Speaker 1:I don't think it is.
Speaker 2:What is a certified turtle? All right, there are multiple matches for certified turtle. Oh God, Just kidding. What is it? I want to see it. There's no photos.
Speaker 1:Wait, go to images.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, oh God, now I'm really scared. Oh, it's just a thing, Like you can buy a certified sea turtle and make it safe.
Speaker 1:What the heck.
Speaker 2:So I was thinking of some kind of like turtle head dick thing, okay. But Okay, all right, let's get off that topic. Well, you're the one. Are you going to say it 10 more times? Yeah, I'm going say it 10 more times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna slap you every time you say it certified turtle. That's abuse. Don't hit me because I have this on, so it'll hurt really what do you have?
Speaker 2:on, we're not gonna say that, okay, okay okay, what else do you want to tell me what's new? What's happened since the last podcast?
Speaker 1:I literally have been doing nothing but going to scuba and coming home and playing video games so nothing's changed no, literally nothing you still don't talk into the microphone.
Speaker 2:I do do you still want a podcast? I do good answer. I have a small agenda of things that we can talk about and since I know you don't remember what has happened in the past two weeks, I do. Can we talk about homecoming?
Speaker 1:No, yeah, we can. I sure we already talked about that, no, we haven't had one since homecoming.
Speaker 2:I think we talked about homecoming was coming up. And you were maybe going to go, maybe not going to go, but you did go and you had fun going to go. Maybe not going to go, but you did go and you had fun. Tell me about it. Quit doing that or I'm going to announce I'm going to take a picture of you being a nerd.
Speaker 1:What am I smiling like this, being a?
Speaker 2:nerd Yep, here it comes Okay. Come on Tell me about homecoming.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it my god talking your mic I can't hear you um. So, anyways, we went there um, we watched the game and logan was drinking water right, yeah, you know he and since he was drinking it, he was like doing like he was putting his head back to drink it.
Speaker 2:Is he going to get in trouble if his parents hear this?
Speaker 1:I don't even think his parents listen to the podcast, no more.
Speaker 2:What Rude Because it's inappropriate.
Speaker 1:It is so and I squeeze a water bottle and you're going to get an air like and you're like and you shit all over the fucking girl in front of us.
Speaker 2:And what did he?
Speaker 1:say he did a.
Speaker 2:His parents said our podcast is inappropriate.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They told you that.
Speaker 1:No, they told Logan that, so he can't watch anymore either.
Speaker 2:Okay. I'm not going to say anything else, okay, um, do you have anything else to talk about homecoming? You're glad you went. You had fun. Did you go to the dance? No. Did you want to go to the dance? No. Are your lips supposed to look like that? Like this yeah, are they supposed to be tucked in like that?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's how it works that is yep, you're lying, uh-huh, don't do that. Your face looks so good minus your nerdy smiles like this. Are you ready for me to take your photo? I'm putting it on the on the on our best behavior page.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're loud, you're loud and proud.
Speaker 2:No, no, no page. Okay, you're loud, you're loud and proud. Nope, nope, nope. I'm gonna put it on there. You did it, you did it, you did it okay, um, do you have anything else to talk about, or do you just want me to start talking you? You got all right. You pipe up when you feel like you have anything else to talk about, or do you just want me to start? Talking, you got this All right, you pipe up when you feel like you have something to contribute.
Speaker 2:I asked if I'm a certified turtle. Okay, whap, that was a hit for you. You're lucky.
Speaker 1:I can't reach you All right, yeah, because I said I was going to hit you every time I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Let's get into it. Oh, mic drop. Yeah, all right, let's go. I went to Kate's bachelorette party yeah. And it was fun. It was a weekend at an Airbnb and it was right on the lake.
Speaker 1:Did we talk about the?
Speaker 2:issue. The issue, the bachelorette party issue. Yeah, it's resolved. It was not an issue and everything was fine.
Speaker 2:I was just in my feelings and you know how I can get do you know, thanks for that look of I got my feelings last week, the other day, about how you and justy don't help me around the house and then I got to get to the point of exploding and I'm like, why do I have to nag all the time to get some help around here? If you see something that needs to be done, do it, but instead you get to do whatever you do. I make dinner, then you go and play your video games and then I'm left doing the cleaning and the cooking and the getting shit ready for the next day and the laundry. And I got a shower. I gotta take care of my chickens, I gotta take care of my dogs, I gotta take care of my bunny.
Speaker 2:like I got a lot going on okay, to be honest, I have offered a million times to do the freaking laundry no, I don't want you touching my washer, but what I do want is, if you see that there's the washer, anyways, I know how to do it. I don't mind washing clothes and drying clothes and putting clothes away. I don't like hauling the clothes down there. So if you see that laundry basket is full upstairs, let's get it downstairs.
Speaker 1:That's what you hate about is hauling it upstairs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because sometimes it gets so goddamn full that I'm like I'm gonna die falling down the stairs. Oh shit, oh fuck. You just spit in my eye, sorry, sorry, and I'm gonna fall down. Remember when I fell on the dog gate and I laid there and I cried? How are you gonna feel when no one's home and I fall down the stairs and you come home and find me dead down there because I snap my neck, because nobody helps me carry down the fucking laundry?
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie, I don't think that ever happened.
Speaker 2:But Okay, what.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:Because weird shit like that happens. So anyway, but I do get home before you Help a mother out. I do get home before you, yeah, so make sure everything's done, not on Mondays.
Speaker 1:That's true.
Speaker 2:Not on the weekend. Sometimes you're not home.
Speaker 2:I guess, and then I could just be down there for days. I could fall on a Friday and you won't be home until Sunday to find me down there. Whatever, bro, okay, well, I'm glad that you're worried about my safety I am. Last weekend I got to go to a Twins game in honor of Patrick. You got shit on. So Patrick, my late friend Patrick, who passed away and still having a really hard time with that. Anyway, he had bought a bunch of tickets to the Twins games and he was a season pass holder and so, anyway, we got to take the tickets that he had left and all of his closest friends and family were at the game and it was just, it was really great, really great company, really terrible game. I think we got shut out. I don't think those twins scored at all, but it was just a lovely time.
Speaker 2:But let me tell you, I had zero alcohol and I had a Diet Mountain Dew that was $6.99. For a bottle of Mountain Dew, $6.99. Yep, wait, wait. Bottle of Mountain Dew, $6.99. Yep, wait, wait, wait, wait. It gets better, holy shit. Then I had a double shot Starbucks in a can that you buy at the gas station for $2.99. You ready? Yeah, $12.99.
Speaker 3:That's nuts right, isn't that nuts? It's so expensive.
Speaker 2:So anyway, the whole reasoning for the Twins game was awesome, but I would way rather go to a Saints game. They have way better food, it's way cheaper. They have way better drinks. I like it how about you. Have you been to a Twins game Ever? Have you been to a Saints game? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I have a Saints game hat with the wiener the hot dog. Yeah, yeah, do you like it? I have a Saints game hat with the wiener the hot dog, oh God, oh God, what? You what?
Speaker 2:I'm not the one that wanted it. Oh, your dad wore it. Your dad wanted it and wore it. You said, it's yours though.
Speaker 1:I mean it technically is now oh.
Speaker 2:He ain't gonna wear it again. Did he wear it all night when you were there?
Speaker 1:We didn't go there all night, we went for a couple hours and, yeah, he wore it Okay. I'm not going to say anything else about that.
Speaker 2:I finished my backsplash in the kitchen. Yeah, so I got the kitchen done. I painted all the cabinets. I redid the countertops Backsplash is done. I did the floors a while back. Countertops Backsplash is done. I did the floors a while back. It's a brand new kitchen.
Speaker 1:You're looking pretty cool Kat.
Speaker 2:I am proud of myself. You should be. I'm a doer. Alright. The only other thing that I have on here is we're going to do a little quizzy quiz and then we're going to talk about the pros and cons of being single versus being in a relationship you get, they make you food oh your mom does that, you don't need to be in a relationship at your age, when you're like 80 80 whenever that is if I thanks, what do you mean?
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that's a bad thing you're saying I am still gonna be making you dinner when I'm 80. Okay, well, I'm confused.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead, talk like you don't want to make dinner? No more.
Speaker 2:You'll be like I don't want to make dinner anymore now I'll be making dinner for you, cause, like you're gonna be so old you're gonna just you're gonna get married and you and your family are going to be too busy and I'll just be in my rocker.
Speaker 2:I won't even know what day it is, what time it is. I'll just have my long-haired wiener dog and I'll just be like oh, it's okay, let's just watch Netflix. Let's just watch Netflix. Nobody loves me. Everybody forgot about me. That's not true. Alright, nobody loves me. Everybody forgot about me. That's not true. All right, all right. Quiz time ready. Everybody forgot about me. Do you like my voice? Yeah, it's pretty funny all right, all right, all right, I gotta find this. Talk, talk, talk talk yap, yap, yap yeah, okay ready.
Speaker 2:Here's the quiz where do eskimos live? I don't remember what an Eskimo is. You know they're people and they like live in the cold and they have like those hoods and they're all furry and they live in igloos yeah. Where do they live?
Speaker 1:Antarctica, the.
Speaker 2:North Pole bitch. That still counts. All right, here's the next one. I know you're good at this.
Speaker 1:Oh, hang on, I just screwed up my shirt, bro. She's throwing today I am, I'm cancel. You dropped the thing from my face, or it's this now? Oh my gosh, mccoy, two days in a row is crazy. You're dropping something. What did I drop yesterday? You dropped the cap and then the day before that, you drop the ball with the stuff on it.
Speaker 2:Oh, for face cleaning.
Speaker 1:Yes, You're not having it, I know.
Speaker 2:I told you arthritis. I'm getting old and arthritic. Talk about being 80. I'm getting there, mackie. Can you help me open this? Yeah, okay, mackie, can you reach this? I'm going to have these decrepit fingers. Help me, oh, my hand, okay, okay. Which continent has the South Pole?
Speaker 1:What the South which?
Speaker 2:continent? Yeah, what continent has the South Pole?
Speaker 1:Isn't the South Pole like its own like thing?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Antarctica. What do you mean? That's a continent. I don't know that. Oh my.
Speaker 1:God, I'm not good at continents and countries and shit. I'm bad at that. That's like one of my what are you good at? I'm not good at map stuff, but I'm good at some stuff in history. Okay, and it's not anything to do with the map. I suck with the map. Shit. Are you good at Olympics?
Speaker 2:No, okay. How many rings are there in the Olympics logo?
Speaker 1:Seven Five Fuck.
Speaker 2:Okay, last one Pissed.
Speaker 1:Last one.
Speaker 2:And you're zero for.
Speaker 1:I don't care.
Speaker 2:Whatever three, who was the good witch in the Wizard of Oz? I don't know, glenda, glenda the good witch, mccoy, you are a disappointment. I watched that like years ago. Disappointment Dude. The last time I watched it it was at least seven years ago. This generation is just cooked. You could know everything and you just choose to know nothing. I haven't watched that movie in seven years.
Speaker 1:You can't be yanking on my cord Seven years mom, I guess you need to watch it again.
Speaker 2:Someone's messaging me. Oh, that's for my trying to build a she shed. I don't even want to look at that. It's going to stress me out okay, we're going to talk about because it's expensive and I just want a she shed. What is a she shed? It's like a little tiny shed that's like a house, like you could live in there.
Speaker 1:The things that we see out there.
Speaker 2:Not like no, I mean yes, like at the state fair. But it's like, you know, like my tent. It'd be like a permanent fixture like my tent. And I could have like a carpet in there and a fan. I could have like a carpet in there and a fan. I could have AC in there, I could have a heater in there.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like my own little outdoor living space. But there are thousands of dollars and I just want to find a cheap one. And I've been looking on Facebook Marketplace like a mad woman and they're either like you have to disassemble them I don't want to do that or like if you move them, they're hard to move and then they get all clunky and junky and then I don't know. It's just, I don't have a trailer or a truck, so I'm just a hurting. So anyway, that's. My goal by the spring is to get my she shed, but I don't want to talk about it too much because I don't know if it's possible. All right being single. So we asked people on our socials if they have been single for more than five years. Why Do they like it? Or?
Speaker 3:is the dating pool.
Speaker 2:Terrible, mackie, you've been single for five years. Tell me no, I haven't. How many you've been single for five years? Tell me, no, I haven't. How many years have you been single for?
Speaker 1:Two.
Speaker 2:Two. Okay, that's still a.
Speaker 1:Maybe not two, maybe like a year and a half, I don't know. Oh, okay, I guess I was like trying to think.
Speaker 2:Okay, you've been single for your high school career.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about. Is that a choice? Do you like being single? Do you wish you had a partner? What's the pros?
Speaker 1:What's the pro of being single? You have to do this drama. I hate that.
Speaker 2:Can you talk in your mic for the 10th?
Speaker 1:time you have to do the drama.
Speaker 2:Yep, okay, and then now are you single because you want to be single, yep, or?
Speaker 1:do you kind of wish that there was somebody? Not because I want to, because I want to Okay.
Speaker 2:Does anyone ever ask you out?
Speaker 1:Hell no.
Speaker 2:Why not?
Speaker 1:You're cute. Look at me, I'm a freaking goober.
Speaker 2:You're cute.
Speaker 1:Goober.
Speaker 2:And your face is like glowing.
Speaker 1:Goober.
Speaker 2:You have a really great complex glowing Goober. You have a really great complexion Goober, okay. Okay, I was going to ask you something, then you made me forget. What are you doing, my balls ache. All right, I can't sit for five seconds, we're talking about being single, and then you're over there just digging Dude, my balls ache, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:You're nasty. How am I nasty this age? I can't help it bro.
Speaker 2:Do you have any friends that have a girlfriend? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, probably 100%. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Is there a lot of kids in high school that have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Are they always like holding hands and smooching in the halls?
Speaker 1:Not, really no.
Speaker 2:You don't pay attention though.
Speaker 1:You just kind of tunnel vision. All the nerdy ones hold hands.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's nerdy to hold hands. Let me tell you when I was in seventh grade I had a boyfriend and this is what drove me nuts and I broke up with him for this, because every time it was like passing time in the halls, he'd like come up behind me and like hold me like this from behind, do you understand? Yeah, and I hated it. I was like get the fuck off me, oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, anyway.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday Jackson. Is it his birthday today? Yeah, jackson, happy birthday. Jackson Happy birthday. Should we sing birthday today? Yeah, jackson, Happy birthday, jackson Happy birthday. Should we sing to him Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday.
Speaker 3:Jackson.
Speaker 2:That's the Osaka birthday song. Happy birthday he hates when I do that. Huh, he hates when you do it. Yeah, when I go like happy birthday, jackson, he hates that. Alright, so we. Yeah, when I go like happy birthday, jackson, he hates that, all right. So we're going to talk to somebody about being single for a long period of time and, if they like it or not, so there is a guest and then we're going to be back with a would you rather? And a funny joke. Okay, yep, and a funny joke. Okay, yep, all right. So I was looking for listeners who had never been in a long-term relationship in their life and I found Emily, and she has been in a long-term relationship, but it's been such a long time that she doesn't quite know if she remembers what it feels like. So, emily, tell us a little bit about your dating story, your dating life or lack thereof.
Speaker 3:You know, it's not that I don't know what it feels like. I know what it feels like for past me, I think you know. So I've been chronically single for the last five years and that's by choice. I didn't really put myself out there or really had a desire as much to put myself out there, partially because the last relationship I was in was it was a very heartbreaking breakup. It was just very it was hard to get over and it took me a while and I had to process and I think from that I learned a lot about who I am and what I want. And I've learned that I'm not going to settle that. I will take my time.
Speaker 3:You know there are things that I would like out of my life, from a relationship, from a long term relationship, but it doesn't define me and I think for so long I was like relationships define a person. Relationships make you know a person and that's not the case. I make my own person. I am my own person. I have discovered more so of who I am and what makes me tick in the last five years than I did probably in the 31 years before that. I've dated here and there I tried to date someone that I was like, am I being too shallow, am I being this way? And I mean, I remember calling you after the second date and being like I can't do it. I've tried, I tried. He has no personality. I am outgoing, I have, you know, I've got this big personality and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall and I just can't do it. And you're like that's okay. And I'm like you know what You're right, that's okay. And I'm like you know what you're right, that is okay. Like I, it's not something that is a need in my life, it's a want. And you know, I am now in the, at that point where I'm getting comfortable to start looking again. But again, like, I have learned my worth. I have learned what I want and what I don't want and what I will accept and what I won't accept, learned what I want and what I don't want and what I will accept and what I won't accept. I want, you know, to be in a partnership. I don't want one person to be above another. I want to work together. You know, it's just.
Speaker 3:It's interesting that, like, I'm in this phase of my life, in my mid 30s, being like, well, I'm okay with where I'm at, like there are days where I'm like, oh, this is lonely and this kind of sucks, but nine times out of 10, I'm fine because I'm comfortable. Not settling, that is my biggest thing. I've seen people settle. I've, you know, seen relationships that have turned out in the you know worst way because of settling. And I'm going to be picky and I don't think it's bad being picky, and maybe it's not being picky, it's having standards for myself. I've been in those toxic relationships. I've been in the relationships that don't have communication. I've been in the relationships that make you feel like you're this big, that don't have communication. I've been in the relationships that make you feel like you're this big, and I always accepted it. I always made excuses and I was like, okay, yeah, okay, that's how it's supposed to be, that's how a man is supposed to love me, and that's not the case.
Speaker 2:In that situation, that's just what your normal is, so you don't even recognize that it's not healthy.
Speaker 3:No, I did not. There was one relationship in my early 20s and I was just talking to you about this Like I didn't realize how toxic that relationship was until three years ago. It took this man coming out of the woodwork. I had him blocked on everything, like I knew he wasn't a good guy, I knew the relationship was bad, I knew all of these things. But it took him finding me on LinkedIn and sending me a message and telling me oh, I'm divorced, now we can talk and hang out if you want. And I was like what what? No, I've blocked you on all of these things for a reason. And I remember having this epiphany. I was at work and I was in my office and I was like, oh my gosh, that was the most toxic relationship or situation I've ever been in in my life. And can you, can you help me? Stop, stop, not on my carpet, he's scratching my rug.
Speaker 2:Your long-term relationship is with Hank.
Speaker 3:Oh my, it's an abusive one. I told him the other day that we were in an abusive relationship together.
Speaker 2:He's scratching my rug. I have to ask people all day long if there's any domestic violence in their life. You could be like yes, my cat abuses me.
Speaker 3:He's four-legged and he's furry Does that count? So you know. It's funny that you know. You don't realize these things until you're older. You know, everybody always says you grow up the most in your 30s and I wholeheartedly believe that I am now at a point where I know who I am, I know what makes me happy, I know what triggers me, I know where I'm at in my life and if someone fits into that, great. If not, that's fine. It doesn't define me anymore.
Speaker 2:Tell me your top three qualities you're looking for in a partner.
Speaker 3:I need someone to make me laugh and kind of I always I like the sarcastic banter back and forth. You know that type of situation, just good humor. I need communication. I am very much open, I'm an open communicator and it's something I'm always working on and someone that supports me and someone that I can support. And you know, I think that's huge. I have such a great support system and you know my friends and family but I want that individual support too, like I want that partnership as well. So just someone that just accepts me for who I am. I know that's forward, but like just not trying to change me.
Speaker 2:Sounds like not a big ask, but in the big picture it is a big ask.
Speaker 3:It is. It is, it is especially. I think I shouldn't say a big ask.
Speaker 2:It's a. It's harder than it seems.
Speaker 3:It's harder than it seems, but it is a big ask because I feel like there are still people men out there. I feel like there are still people men out there, people, women you know everybody that they say one thing, but they're something different, because being self aware is such a huge thing that makes someone who they are. I personally believe that I have worked so hard on being self aware and I understand myself and I didn't understand myself five, six years ago and there's a big difference now in who I am because of that, and I don't want to be with someone that doesn't understand themselves. I don't want to be with someone that says I'm funny, I'm supportive, I'm this, that and the other stuff, and then behind closed doors there's something else I don't, I don't, and that to me is a big reason why it's scary to put myself out there, because someone can be. So you know one way up front, but then behind the scenes they're totally different.
Speaker 2:Or six months in, and you've invested all this time and I know there are risks in any relationship and things like that, but I just want someone to be genuine so if you're out there and you check all those boxes, let me know, because I think I mean I tell you all the time, like if I ever end up single again.
Speaker 3:Emily, you're already my wifey, so I mean, I tell people you're my non-sexual, um soulmate yeah, exactly, you're my non-sexual committed partner. Yeah, so I mean that's just people, are you know? That's how it is. What is it? Wifey, soulmate, bestie, We've got all these nicknames.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Whenever your friend group asks something like of both of us, I'm like ah, you have to ask wifey.
Speaker 3:They do, you do, you do. When Patrick was like let's go on a cruise, you're like. I have to wait for what my wifey says, and I'm like it's up to wifey, it's up to wifey. It's funny. He said something oh gosh, at his benefit. I was talking to him and his coworker came up and he turns to his coworker and goes that's my girlfriend. I was like, well, your actual wife is somewhere, but now his mom, his mom goes.
Speaker 2:You were at my wedding a month ago, but this is my girlfriend, but this is my girlfriend.
Speaker 3:His mom now calls me his girlfriend.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Judy's like oh, emily, the girlfriend's here I'm like thanks. So, there is competition, but he's just the dearest friend of mine of 20 years.
Speaker 2:Like I always say, like Emily, it's time to stop being everybody's number two. You need to be somebody's number one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what is that movie?
Speaker 2:27 dresses, oh, I have seen that, but I guess I forgot what it's about.
Speaker 3:I think it's where she's all right made all the time.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, I mean I've not been in a lot of weddings, thankfully because but but I don't know, I yeah, it's just always been kind of a backseat thing for me, especially in the last five years. But it's more of me focusing on myself and I think that's the greatest gift I can give to myself and my partner. I always think there's always room for growth and even now I still go to therapy. I went to therapy for nine years and my therapist stopped seeing patients and so I got a new therapist and I was telling my therapist actually today I was like therapy is like a warm hug to me. At the end of it I feel like it's just a big warm hug because I'm able to work through things from a neutral standpoint and see things in other ways and not have emotions with it. It's very open minded for me and I don't think I would be who I am today without it. So yeah, it's just kind of I don't know chronically single, but it is what it is.
Speaker 2:Maybe I don't know Well, I appreciate you being so vulnerable about a topic that not all people want to talk about, because I think that the things that you said and the way that you feel is the same for many other people out there.
Speaker 3:So and you know I was embarrassed for a long time and now I just and I was ashamed, you know, and but looking back on it, I think I'm I don't know if I would say I'm ashamed of my past relationships. I just am okay with them ending when they ended.
Speaker 2:You grew, you learned something from each relationship that you have been in Right, and it's made you a better person.
Speaker 3:Correct and you know they're person Correct and you know they're going to have to compete with you.
Speaker 2:So any guy has to get the Kelly stamp. You are too. I have many things. I have many things to work on myself, kelly, and Jen.
Speaker 3:stamp of approval. They've got to get that first. Yes, yes. I mean you haven't even earned Hank's stamp of approval. That I'm scared about. Oh, could you imagine? Oh, I'm sorry for any future guy I date. My cat was gonna hate anybody. Hopefully you're a cat person, I mean, yeah, because he's, he's not, he doesn't like anybody.
Speaker 2:So not even me, and I just try to you, try to bribe him and give him everything he loves.
Speaker 3:You try. I mean the one time he acted nice around everybody. He yelled at me afterwards, yes, when I went into my bedroom and he looked at me, hissed at me and walked away. So why did you?
Speaker 2:let all these people over. Yes, that was fun. All right, emmy, thanks for sharing your story.
Speaker 3:Anytime, and I'll talk to you soon. Okay, all right, emmy, thanks for sharing your story. Anytime, and I'll talk to you soon. Okay, all right, bye.
Speaker 2:Bye. I admire Emily, which is why she's my best friend, because she I don't. I try to tell myself like, oh, I could be alone, I could be single, I'd be fine. But I'm a serial monogamist. What is?
Speaker 2:serial monogamist, always in a relationship, and I like it. Now that I have a relationship that's very special to me, I like it. I would never want to do anything to lose that. Anyway, I applaud Emily for being such an independent boss. Bitch, alright, do you have a? Would you rather for me? Yeah, I do. Are you ready for it? I'm ready for it.
Speaker 1:Have a, would you rather for me? Yeah, I do. Okay, are you ready for it?
Speaker 2:I'm ready for it, all right.
Speaker 1:Would you rather live in a new country every month or never go on vacation again?
Speaker 2:I would rather live in a new country every month and see the world.
Speaker 1:I would if I was an adult, but since I'm a kid and moving to school every month, I don't know, I just never go on vacation.
Speaker 2:But you don't talk to anybody at school anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I suck ass at making friends. That'd be fucking worse for me, bro.
Speaker 2:How could it be any worse? You already don't have any friends.
Speaker 1:I do still. I have a lot of friends. I just don't have any classes in this freaking thing.
Speaker 2:Make new friends. Just put yourself out there, be fun and outgoing. I know you are. You're the goober that you are. You're not a goober at school, you're just the quiet kid.
Speaker 1:I'm not the quiet kid, I ain't gonna shoot up the school oh you know what else I was gonna tell you?
Speaker 2:What did you say? You're not gonna shoot the school. I'm not gonna shoot up the school? Yeah, I hope not. That's. You can't say stuff like I know, but I'm not the quiet kid, okay, oh, okay, okay, okay, the quiet kid is the next school shooter. Yes, well then, don't be so quiet. People probably think you are the next school shooter. That's probably your reputation. Did you tell your mom to shut up?
Speaker 1:yeah, not in a bad way. I didn't like. I mean I just like, bro, Ain't no school shooter.
Speaker 2:We watched a scary movie, spooky. Do you remember? Did you see the ghost in our front yard?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was really scary.
Speaker 2:Evil Dead Rise. You wanted to go see that in the theater and I saw Evil Dead with my friend Amber in the theater and all I did was cover my eyes because it was so gruesome. So I told you I would not go see evil dead rise in the theater because I didn't want to pay all that money to cover my eyes the whole time.
Speaker 1:And that shit. Yeah, I was going to say and the most horrific part.
Speaker 2:It's not a spoiler, because when you see it I had to close my eyes. I could not watch it. I couldn't. He took a. The demon takes a cheese grater and cheese grates this lady's leg, and that's too far for me. What do you mean? That wasn't even that bad. There was some other gross thing the eyeball. What do you mean, the eyeball? Didn't he, like, pop the guy's eyeball out and then threw it in his mouth? Do you remember that? Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:She like bit it out yeah, oh. God, she bit it and the guy choked on it.
Speaker 2:I don't do well with eyeballs. That grosses me out, actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, justin, cannot run that Like you can touch my eyeball.
Speaker 2:But I'm just saying, like when it's like taking your eyeball out of its socket, like that's too far for me. What are you watching?
Speaker 1:I'm not watching anything.
Speaker 2:What are you?
Speaker 1:distracted by I'm making sure my phone doesn't turn off.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, why do you still need it? I don't know why.
Speaker 1:I need it. You already did your, would you rather?
Speaker 2:You're not stupid.
Speaker 1:I am.
Speaker 2:You just have ADHD. That makes me stupid, worse than most people. You're not stupid. I have both versions you do. We're going to retest you, though, and see where you're at. You haven't been tested since third grade, actually, yeah.
Speaker 1:Remember we talked about that with Dr Pastrola. Yeah, I know, but how do we do a test?
Speaker 2:You have to go back to that place. I go back. Do you want to hear a? Why do runners? No, let me try one more time, bro. What do runners eat?
Speaker 1:nothing, because they fast, that's funny, holy crap, because they're fasting because runners are fast and fasting is when you don't eat you're funny.
Speaker 2:thank you so much for listening to another episode of Honor Best Behavior. Next week we have a guest, and the next week after that we're going to be talking about Kate's wedding and shout out to Jackson's birthday.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday, Jackson Happy birthday.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, jackson. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, happy birthday.
Speaker 1:Jackson, have fun being a certified turtle. He likes me a certified turtle, so hey.
Speaker 2:Brother Jackson, what I'm not getting nothing, no,
