As we reflect on the rollercoaster of a day that we had, dashing from dental woes to well-child wonders, we are reminded of the pure joy found in life's simple moments—like Kelli's homemade tacos that trumped our fast food lunch. Today's episode of "On Our Best Behavior" brings you into the heart of our family's daily dance with laughter, learning, and a little bit of driving dread.
Our heartfelt chat with Lise, Connor's incredible mom from "Love on the Spectrum," adds a rich layer of depth to our narrative tapestry. We explore the intricacies of life on the autism spectrum, from the early quest for diagnosis to the empowering journey towards self-acceptance and resilience. Lise pulls back the curtain on their family's personal triumphs and trials, offering an intimate glimpse into the realities of parenting with grace through divorce and beyond.
Wrapping up with the art of raising respectful gents and the unforeseen benefits of social interaction, especially for our neurodiverse loved ones, this installment is a testament to the unwavering spirit of our families. Join Lise and Connor on their YouTube channel "CarRides with Connor" for unscripted hilarity and honest parenting anecdotes. We're serving up stories that celebrate the wins, navigate the bumps, and embrace the quirks of life. So buckle up and stay classy, planet Earth—our adventure is just getting started!
As we reflect on the rollercoaster of a day that we had, dashing from dental woes to well-child wonders, we are reminded of the pure joy found in life's simple moments—like Kelli's homemade tacos that trumped our fast food lunch. Today's episode of "On Our Best Behavior" brings you into the heart of our family's daily dance with laughter, learning, and a little bit of driving dread.
Our heartfelt chat with Lise, Connor's incredible mom from "Love on the Spectrum," adds a rich layer of depth to our narrative tapestry. We explore the intricacies of life on the autism spectrum, from the early quest for diagnosis to the empowering journey towards self-acceptance and resilience. Lise pulls back the curtain on their family's personal triumphs and trials, offering an intimate glimpse into the realities of parenting with grace through divorce and beyond.
Wrapping up with the art of raising respectful gents and the unforeseen benefits of social interaction, especially for our neurodiverse loved ones, this installment is a testament to the unwavering spirit of our families. Join Lise and Connor on their YouTube channel "CarRides with Connor" for unscripted hilarity and honest parenting anecdotes. We're serving up stories that celebrate the wins, navigate the bumps, and embrace the quirks of life. So buckle up and stay classy, planet Earth—our adventure is just getting started!
Hey guys, welcome back to Honor Best Behavior. I'm Mack and you're here with Kelly.
Speaker 2:Mack and Kelly.
Speaker 1:I kinda messed it up, my bad, I forgot you did so good in the practice I didn't say it, whatever.
Speaker 2:Your voice. I know that you're way too young to know this, but if you grew up here in Minnesota and you listened to I can't even remember what the name of the station was, but her name was Delilah and she had such a chill voice and when you're like, welcome back to Honor Best Behavior, kinda has like that soothing Delilah vibe.
Speaker 1:If you know who you know.
Speaker 2:What up Mack Dogg?
Speaker 1:what's new? I had three appointments today.
Speaker 2:You did.
Speaker 1:It was a busy day.
Speaker 2:It was a busy day. We even said like today was busier than if I was at work and you were at school, like we did more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was way busier and we didn't get paid for it.
Speaker 2:If anything, it cost us money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I did, yeah, you did.
Speaker 2:I did, so you got some sealants put in your teeth.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And then we went and saw our favorite doctor, dr Prestrowlo, mm-hmm, for your 15 year, well child check. And me and Dr Prestrowlo were both like how are you 15 and how are we that old? I'm all right, we don't care that you're 15. We care that we're old. And when I say we, I mean me, cause Prestrowlo is younger than I am.
Speaker 1:Yeah, true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so that was a good time. Went and checked out his new facility, yeah. We hadn't been there yet.
Speaker 1:Facilites only.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a good time. Then I took you out to lunch. You wanted to go to Taco John's Because your favorite thing to eat there is the croutons with the cheese.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I got a burrito for like the first time there. It was like all right, probably want to get it again.
Speaker 2:My heart, though, because when we left there, you're like mom your tacos are way better than there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like oh, thanks.
Speaker 1:You're welcome.
Speaker 2:You know they're made with love. That's why. I don't think my tacos are that good, because when you make your own food, I don't feel like it ever tastes better Like if you made tacos or Justin made me tacos, they'd probably be the best tacos. But no one makes tacos but me.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:And so like when you're doing all the work, I feel like it's not as tasty.
Speaker 1:Oh, violet, all right.
Speaker 2:Next appointment. Oh then there was a Dollar Tree right next door.
Speaker 3:And that's my new obsession.
Speaker 2:So I've been posting all my Dollar Tree finds on TikTok, so make sure you follow on our best behavior so you can see all those fun videos.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're looking at me like not fun.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:You had the Dollar Tree today.
Speaker 1:You said like you got some stuff and you were surprised that you get some stuff. Stuff I was getting like I didn't expect to get. Yeah, I guess it was mainly Failed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what was your favorite find? Probably like weird apple juice. Oh yeah, the fancy apple juice. I don't know what it's called. It has a fancy name.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is good, it was good. It was like pure actual, like squeezed apple, the real deal.
Speaker 2:Violet, are you being podcast pop? Are you secure To kisses, kisses, oh, thank you. And then after that we went to the Orthodontist, because the braces will be coming on real soon.
Speaker 1:March right.
Speaker 2:March 7th oh shit.
Speaker 1:Is that next month?
Speaker 2:Next month.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a month from now. Yeah, it's like basically.
Speaker 2:And I'm really excited because they said you can just drive up there, Ride your bike up there and I don't have to bring you every day not every day, but every time Cause you'll be there a lot and I don't want to take off any more work. We be going to we be. I can't talk today. Next week at this time we will be in the Sunshine State, which is Florida.
Speaker 1:Florida.
Speaker 2:We'll be nice and warm and you'll be probably not that cold, cause Minnesota's not that cold right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't know that cold, it's like spring weather, weather almost. It's still sweater weather, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:You don't even need a jacket right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I think I didn't even put a jacket on once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, once for like.
Speaker 2:A couple of times I've seen you wear your jacket. Yeah, when.
Speaker 1:I was like kind of cold I only brought to my dad's, though.
Speaker 2:Remember that day when I was airing up my own tires and you didn't help me, cause it was too cold outside.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I was gonna wear a jacket. That was when I was like I actually called down for like a little bit. It was cold, for it was like really it was like the coldest for like one week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a couple like two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, two weeks really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:But there was like no snow on the ground when it was cold too.
Speaker 2:There was only snow in like October.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know Tyson, stop eating bunny poop, god he likes it.
Speaker 2:He thinks that's cocoa puffs.
Speaker 1:You like your cocoa puffs. Tyson, you like cocoa puffs?
Speaker 2:No, no cocoa, it's just hay. It's okay. Bunnies have like a super healthy diet. They don't eat junk.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They eat fruit, vegetables and some pellets and water. They have a pretty bland, healthy diet, I guess yeah. Okay, are you ready for your driver's ed question?
Speaker 1:No, I'm scared, Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm ready. You've been driving more. Yeah, you've been getting the feel of driving. Do you like it? Yeah, yeah, I couldn't go after you Are you surprised that I haven't freaked out on you yet.
Speaker 1:No. Okay, all right, here it comes. I need you to focus on here, mr.
Speaker 2:I didn't take my meds today.
Speaker 1:I'm ready.
Speaker 2:A center lane between opposing lanes of traffic may be designated for left turns only Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait what? So it looks like this A center lane between opposing lanes, which opposing means different opposite.
Speaker 1:Is that like a thing that we see all the time, or is it like a training lane it?
Speaker 2:happens. This is a road situation.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:A center lane between opposing lanes of traffic may be designated for left turns only, right turns only passing or all of the above.
Speaker 1:Where's passing? Like going, like you can go like.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Passing Womp, womp. Okay, then it's all.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, it's all the above, it's all the above. Yeah, do you want to know? A good way to know that it's all of the above.
Speaker 1:Because there's an arrow going left and an arrow going right.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And passing means the same thing. It's just both of them combined.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, yeah, yeah. So it's all of the above.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, good job.
Speaker 1:I'm so good.
Speaker 2:You're getting there. I mean you would have got that one wrong. Just saying so there's that. Today we have a really great interview. This one was so exciting for me.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:So if you have watched Love on the Spectrum, season two, you're amazing Today we have Connor's mom, lees, and we just kind of talk about autism and we just were talking about this last week, so this timing is impeccable. So Love on the Spectrum follows people on the autism spectrum as they navigate the world of dating and relationships. So we're gonna kind of talk about well, that kind of we're gonna talk all about Connor and his autism journey with and their family and just kind of how it went on the show and how that worked. There is a lot of spoilers in this interview, so if you haven't watched it, it's definitely going to make you feel intrigued to watch it, and if you have watched it, you're gonna get a lot of inside scoop. So stay tuned. Here's Lees from Love on the Spectrum, connor's mom.
Speaker 1:We'll see you after the show.
Speaker 2:You're listening to another episode of Honor Best Behavior and today I have a very special guest. I'm so excited to introduce her. Maybe you have heard me talking about or have watched yourself, love on the Spectrum, season two Connor, is easily my favorite story, and today I have Connor's mom, lees, and she is gonna talk to us about just kind of their autism journey, their journey with the show, and I have a lot of questions about autism and I wanna be more informed about it, and I think you're gonna be a great resource, lees, so I'm gonna let you take it from here. Tell me what I missed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, sorry, we had a little blip there in the connection. So, hi everybody, I'm Lees, and so tell me specifically what. If I missed the question, I apologize. What did you want to get filled in on right off the bat?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I just wanted to start off by saying I love the show Love on the Spectrum. I found it when it was season one and I was waiting and waiting, and waiting, Like I hope they do a season two. And they did, and Connor is a new cast member, a new story on the show and I instantly fell in love with your family and your story, your parenting style.
Speaker 2:I do this podcast with my son, so we, you know, I just felt a strong connection to you because I love the way that you talk to your kids and your family and how you run your family and just how you are a mom but also very like, involved in their life and their love and just everything that's going on. And they have so much trust in you and they rely on you and they communicate with you and they ask you and I just love that. And with Connors differences, it's really fun to see how you manage that because I think you do such a good job. So you're encouraging to him, you are excited for him, you show nothing but love and support for your entire family and I think it's fun to see, like Connor, his feelings in the show and if you haven't watched it you better are so relatable, because I feel like he says out loud what we're all thinking in our heads.
Speaker 3:And whether it's welcomed or not, sometimes Absolutely. It's a funny story with that, just just out of. He's always been like that. So what you see on the show with all of us is truly what you get. Connor is no exception, obviously, and he is the main cast member. We are just there supporting him and it's actually surprised to see how much of the family key and the director actually did include.
Speaker 3:I've watched the show since the Australian seasons. I've said in a previous interview I don't know if it's the algorithms on my Netflix for what I like to watch, but I found out about the show in 2019. So to be on it is just I'm pinching myself Connor, all of us but to make a long story short like Connor is just truth serum. He is that. That he is, which sees what you get. I mean, it's real on the show His expressions, his telling you the way. It is the one good thing about Connor and it is nice. I always joke if I put on an outfit and I'm not sure if it's the most flattering, and I'll ask my husband and he's like you look great, you look great, I'm like Connor. Come here and he'll be like no or yes.
Speaker 2:And another thing I love about him is there is an episode on the show when one of his dates was like you look handsome, like that's. One of the things I liked about today is how handsome you are and he's like I fancy myself and I'm like you go, connor, like we all need a little more confidence like that, cause he is handsome, it's funny cause somebody asked me recently about his self-esteem and I was like, did you see the show?
Speaker 3:Because he thinks a lot of himself. I think he does have some confidence and anxiety issues, but self-esteem is well in tact with him. He and that is a gift. I think, part of our family and I think some of what a lot of people don't know about us as a family is our journey is I was married to Connor's dad and I had three other children. I had four children in my first marriage with Connor. That's the only children I have had. I have two step children now in my second marriage, which is a wonderful blended family. We nickname ourselves smoothie cause we're all blended, but Connor's dad I mean left when, in 2007, when Connor was, you know, five, six, I'm getting my math wrong the twin no, connor was closer seven, eight, the twins were five, and then my youngest wasn't even two years old.
Speaker 3:So the toughness, the tightness that you see and feel with the like, the core of us, the five of us before my new husband and my new step children joined to the group, that was forged in a very real, very painful way and part of our journey, and it was painful and it was dark and it was hard, and not only just emotionally.
Speaker 3:Going through a divorce period is just hard on everybody. The children are always collateral damage. But then you step it up a notch with a child who has a neuro diagnosis and he's not you know, he has these other ways of processing things and feels things and intakes things in a very different way than even his siblings. It just it magnified the situation and it made it harder and it wasn't easy. It wasn't even easy for his dad. I'm not saying it was just a really hard, dark time. So, like I said, that was forged in some pretty serious fire. But we are fierce with each other, we love each other, we trust each other because we circled our wagons pretty, pretty early on in me being a mom with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that I'm also divorced, so I can feel your, I feel your experience there. But I think that the kids take divorce in such a hard way because, even though it's not about them, they feel like it is so much about them and they internalize that a lot and so I'm sure it was hard on all of your children. But, Connor, I'm sure you know, like you said, deals with things in a different way and I think that it is always scary to when you find, like you found a new husband and he is amazing and he's not new. You guys have been together for a long time.
Speaker 3:Well together.
Speaker 2:Oh man. But then finding someone that you can trust, with Connor, you know, and his challenges that he faces, I mean, that's a whole nother right level.
Speaker 3:And you know, as a single mom, you know I was a single mom with them for five years and dating, hey, with that many kids. Nobody wants to be in that circus tent Like what's going on. She has what, how many of those kids. So there's that and it was always. You know, I was always very upfront with whoever I might've dated or been interested in, but also been to have somebody. If they have their children or we're trying to blend, and then you do have somebody who's neurodiverse in the mix and somebody who may not be familiar with it to come in and accept it. That was a challenge.
Speaker 3:Tony was very different in that way. He just ran right towards us, him, he accepted him. No, it sounds like you know it, just he was, it was a non-issue. It was a non-issue, that's what I should say. He was just so cool. That's great. And I do think Tony had a friend who married a woman, a single mom with a special needs child. I think he did. They told me as we were dating like he went to him and said, hey, any tips or pointers? What should I? And I really touched my heart that here we are just dating and he's so wanting to get it right that he was asking for resources, you know. So a lot of kudos to him for that, just yeah, that shows that he cared a lot and he's great with them, sometimes better than me, you know.
Speaker 2:Which is good because, you know, when we're boy moms, we have a girl's perspective and sometimes they need a guy, totally, Totally.
Speaker 3:So that was always, that was cool.
Speaker 2:So when did you first become aware that Connor might be autistic, and what steps did?
Speaker 3:you take next after that? Well, something about me. When I graduated from college, I graduated with a psych degree and I ended up working at a school with autistic children and the outskirts of Boston, which is where I'm originally from. You haven't just slayed stone for life?
Speaker 2:No, I haven't slinging stone.
Speaker 3:My whole life that was sales. Came when mama needed to make some money because she was a broke single mom. So everyone's like you need to get into sales, you're missing the boat, you gotta go sell some and I just found this to sell, but anyway.
Speaker 2:Anyway, sidebar there, Connor always says my mom sells granite, so my previous life.
Speaker 3:I came out of college and I got this job and I was working in the intensive preschool with the children who were newly diagnosed families that were just kind of reeling and starting to try to accept the diagnosis of their children. And I was this know-it-all 20-something no kids, not married. Probably if I knew me now back then then my situation I'd probably wanna punch me right in the face. But anyway, yeah, that was my life. And then we moved. I met my husband, we got married, went to Miami and I did some home-based therapy with some autistic children and families and I loved it. Didn't have kids yet. And then along comes Connor. So the reason why that's important is by Conners 18 months to two years things weren't looking right to me, based on my experience of that population and teaching and being close to the families I mean I was respite care for some families on the weekends. I mean I didn't have kids. So seeing some of the behaviors, I was like, okay, a little pit in my stomach but I'm not gonna freak out. And it was his second birthday and we had family in from out of town. My ex-husband is British, that's where Connor gets his British accent a lot and the British grandparents were there and we all came into his room excited. He was my first son, so excited, gonna sing him happy birthday. And the child just fell to pieces, blocked his ears, lost his mind and that coupled with the other things I was seeing. He was walking on his tippy toes, he was scripting shows long after the show had ended and we were in a completely different activity that had nothing to do with TV, and he was running the TV show with perfect script and there was no context for it. I was trying to get him involved in play groups and he was. All the kids would be playing and interacting and Connor was always just off on the side playing on his own. He didn't need anyone to experience share. So my experience with what I dealt with in that population and what I was seeing with him was just not sitting right with me. So I then went on a quest to get him diagnosed. It started to cause some tension between me and my husband my first husband. He was convinced that the child was brilliant and that I was wanting him to be autistic because that's all I knew to work with kids. So, like the fissures and the cracks in that, marriage started then and then went to several doctors from his second birthday around the Boston area and could not get a diagnosis because he was talking and he was looking at me. But he was. I'm like he's walking on his tippy toes and he's talking about Bob the builder and he doesn't care if I'm listening. Well, he's talking and he's looking at you. He's not autistic.
Speaker 3:Okay, we moved to Atlanta, georgia, and I happened to be at the doctor's office the pediatricians with my twins. They had ear infections and we weren't even there to talk about Connor. But, sure enough, connor, being true to form, was walking on his tippy toes and reciting his most favorite TV show. And I nudged the pediatrician and I'm like, do you see that? And she's like, yeah, I go, do you think that's okay? And she's like, no, I don't.
Speaker 3:And at first time I felt hurt he was. Then we went on the quest and I had two different doctors separately working with assessments and we got diagnosed on the same day from both of them that he was autistic. And he was five and sad, grieving, in shock, just hearing what I knew. But to hear it was a different level. And then also so angry and mad at my husband, the medical professionals and even myself to some extent, that three years had burned past with no intervention when I knew it and I kept taking no for an answer. I can't tell you how. What a bad point of my life that that was. I had let him down. I should know better.
Speaker 3:And then just a lot of anger toward my husband of just why didn't you believe me, why don't you support me, why don't we go for this harder? So that was the diagnosis process, you know you. Then you pick yourself up by your bootstraps and you go find whatever help you can do and I was in the Atlanta area at that point, got connected with a lot of great support. We did like sensory stuff, p-t-o-t in terms of interventions. We did relationship development intervention. We did some social thinking. I put him in sensory camps like rock climbing, just anything I could find. I like went over the top. I'm like I have three years to make up for. So then I almost like over scheduled this poor little five year old because I was just like I'm gonna, we're gonna make up for last time.
Speaker 2:But did he have a lot of resistance to that? Like, did he like to be at home? Or when he had to go try new things? Like nobody likes to do new things? I don't think, especially if you're like, not volunteering for it. And so then like you're and I'm not saying this in a bad way but then like you're putting him out all this stuff and he's probably like-.
Speaker 3:No, and he's autistic and he definitely had his comfort zone and routine of what he was doing. And when he was younger it was the man you see today is a lot of years of work from all of us could not get a haircut. I could not take him to get a haircut. The buzzers, we thought I mean I would get sick to my stomach when it was haircut time. And I like a clean cut boy, I like a clean cut man boy. I was like when I had little boys I wanted them to have their little tight haircuts. So the buzzers I had more.
Speaker 3:I went to every kind of barber the children, you know, let's put them in this little airplane thing and get his hair cut or whatever Barbers were getting cut. Because he was, he would fight and scream. And so you're in that situation. I'm trying to hold him. They're trying to cut his hair. He's fighting, he's kicking, he's screaming. It's also overwhelmingly and we're in a public barber shop and other moms and kids are looking at us like I mean I'm crying. I'm like why, why, why is this happening? You know, it's embarrassing. I felt embarrassed. My kid was a train wreck and I felt sad for him.
Speaker 2:The barber's bleeding, I mean so and then you feel like you're being judged by everybody because they don't know what's going on.
Speaker 3:So there was a lot of that.
Speaker 3:And then there was just yeah, just transitions in schools you know, going from a preferred class to a not preferred class, there was phone calls and, yeah, there was a lot of just having to accommodate scaffold. Slow down, which I'm a very fast paced person, I talk fast, I move fast. The gift of Connor in my life has been to learn to slow down. Meet him where is that? Don't put him on my timeline or what I think he should be doing, let's. And I think you do see some of that in the show and I think that just comes from years of having to watch him seriously melt down and not wanting him in that state of mind and physical being. You know.
Speaker 2:So did you find any techniques that like worked, like what got him a successful haircut, or things that were a struggle? Did?
Speaker 3:you Not avoiding it. I mean just you know, obviously having to get him there with successive approximations to like where we wanted to go, and you know we would. I think the way a lot of things that helped when there was tough situations for him or when he made bad choices was I was able to draw little comic strips. I'm not a huge artist, but I would draw like okay. And then I would prepare him like okay, we are gonna go to the barber shop, this is what we have to do. But after you know if we can get through it. And I would try to do like Wally Pop or we go to McDonald's and I mean I know that sounds, but we would do a reward system and I mean I did stuff with my other kids. We'd have like you get five tokens potty training, you can have this or whatever.
Speaker 3:But those were things I would do, the relationship development stuff, when I worked here in Atlanta with this therapist called Janice Geist. She was wonderful, her essential communications. She is retired now but she taught a lot of that and she's growing down, like you know, thoughtful pauses so that he tries to engage and things like that. But also she helped me with the comic strips and drawing out things, and the comic strips were super helpful when he made a bad choice and I was trying to teach him. So I would say okay, you did the. Here was the situation. You were at school and so and so had this toy. You took the toy and then the other kid did this to you and then you both got in trouble. That's what happened. Okay, let's draw back. I drew the first two squares. What would happen if we make a different decision and we share the toy and we would draw, and then we drew a different outcome and I literally would physically draw things out for him and it would start to cement for him.
Speaker 2:So he did better with that like vision.
Speaker 3:Yes, for him it did help too.
Speaker 2:We would draw the situation, we would draw options and then we would draw alternative outcomes and hopefully choose better in the future, because it couldn't make him like see what it was gonna look like versus imagine what it would be like.
Speaker 3:You could still be playing with your technology right now if you had done this, but now we're here and we would do little things like that. I'm not any way, shape or form, a therapist anymore and it's been years since we've done anything formal. So a lot of people. I feel so much pressure and I don't wanna let anybody down about what we did. But I just I really trusted. I found professionals that were like-minded to what I felt were accepting of Connor, and also I liked the intervention, the way it worked, and I just found people I trusted and I let them guide me. I didn't let my ego get in the way. I didn't act like well, I used to work with autistic kids, so here's what I know. No, I was like I'm a mom. I'm coming to you as a mom who needs help, cause I'm way too close to this kid. I love him too much. I can't see the forest, see the trees right now, guide me. So I just would say do your research, find out what works for your kid and then find someone you trust.
Speaker 2:How do you strike a balance between addressing Connors unique needs but then also, like now, like with the show Love on the Spectrum, like you're also trying to help him foster his independence?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's great. What the show has done for me and has been amazing so that I can help them is I have been so focused. He's 24, he'll be 25 on St Patrick's Day. I love his birthday. It's the coolest birthday. It's so cool.
Speaker 3:One of the things is the show brought to my attention and watching it with him and then being on it I have been so focused on. Okay, we've got to get him a high school diploma. We've got to get him a real high school diploma. We're not going to take any shortcuts and took him an extra year to graduate, but he got it. Okay, now we got to get in the workplace. Now we got to. I had all these milestones.
Speaker 3:I never thought, considered or pondered. I did think of social groups for friends, ever a romantic life for him. Then, when it hit me in the face, I was like where have you been? Why haven't you thought about even the opportunity that he would want love, need love from someone outside the family? Why haven't I had that conversation with him? The show helped me do that. Then I don't know if I'm answering your question, but that was one of the big things for me with the show is to learning that he had this need and now trying to help him get there.
Speaker 3:I get a little criticism from some of the scenes in the show where he's looking like he wants to back out of the date. But I'm like, go back. Go back, son. You got this Because Connor would run for the hills if I let him. I feel like, unless we are in sheer panic, which is not healthy or functional, there is a place in the grid of stress, of anxiety, called optimal anxiety. You got to feel some of that to grow and get to the next level. We all do you do, I do, your son does With Connor. When he gets to that feeling he wants to retreat, I'm just got to be there and I'm not going to let him fall off a cliff. Nobody, nobody, I'm not, but I'm going to dangle his feet so he knows there's some other stuff out there. Let's go.
Speaker 2:That's one of the things I admire about your family so much is. He'll in the show you'll see him starting to verbalize his anxiety about maybe. I just don't want to do this. It doesn't feel like a safe space for me because it's out of my norm and it's not comfortable. And then you're like, okay, okay, let's slow down, you don't need to feel any pressure. No one's making you feel pressure. You have such a great insight of like it's okay, you go on this date you meet this person. There's no pressure. If there's not any fireworks, that's okay. You met someone new. You got out of the house, you had an experience. The person was nice. Maybe you made a friend Great, that's fine. You can see him think about that and be like okay, okay, yeah. And then his brother too will say the same thing it's okay, it's good if you meet a friend, exactly.
Speaker 3:I mean I don't and again, it's the rigidity of thought sometimes that sometimes I feel like there's days where I'm like, oh my gosh, look at where he's come from and then look at where he's getting to, and then he does still have this diagnosis and his brain does still work in different ways than ours and he does still have some rigidity of thought at times. So I don't know if he thought and I think he had this is why he had the panic attack, and it's a hard scene for me to watch. That that's a whole scene. I've never seen him do that before is I think he thought he had to go marry somebody. I think he thought I was like hitching his wagon and like sending it. I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And when I realized he had all this pressure, like I was trying to, you know, wife him up, I was like what am I doing? That buddy? We're just making friends maybe. Maybe hold hands, I don't know, maybe a little smoochy face, I don't know.
Speaker 2:But if you feel it, and only if you feel it, you know and yes, and you told him that and I love that you can talk to him, you know, to any of your kids like that. And again, I do think it does go back to a thing. He was like I have to meet this, whoever I choose from the speed dating, like I have to marry them and you're like whoa, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3:I want that for whoever he wants that. But it's just, it was funny, it was, it was, it was. It was raising awareness to me of just how, like okay, we really need to sit down and kind of talk these things through and make sure he understands the ins and outs. That's why I also want to watch the speed thing scene, which has gotten so much attention on TikTok, and they even made a gif or jif I don't know how to say those things. A GIF, it's a gif not the paint above.
Speaker 2:They made a gif them doing the paint.
Speaker 3:Why wasn't he instructed to not mark no or yes in front of these lovely ladies?
Speaker 2:I, you know, I honestly just love that one, one of the things I love. Like when I watch him on love on the spectrum, like I'm just smiling the whole time because he's just, he's not rude and he's not mean, he's just so genuine and I love that about him. And I think it's so cute when the producer whoever they, the director's like hey, are you marking no in front of them and he's like yeah, like I can't do, I can't do that. And then he's horrified.
Speaker 3:He's like oh my God, wait, I did it wrong, Buddy.
Speaker 2:Because he's a great human and he has a conscious and he doesn't want to hurt people. So he then he feels bad that they might have saw that and he hurt them and he doesn't love that so sweet, so sweet, the nicest guy.
Speaker 3:Everyone. There's like a running joke in my family. Like you know, I have four, my husband has two, there's six together. And you know my youngest son, who's in the show. You see him, he's in my phone. I still call him the baby. He's six, two, 19. I don't care, he's my baby and my other kids are like well, we were your babies, but he's the baby and I even have him in my phone as the baby and everyone laughs and they're like he's your favorite, he's your favorite. I'm like no, connor is my favorite, that is straight. Nobody's my favorite. If my kids hear this, they love you all the same. We joke.
Speaker 2:Oh I love it, I love it. So this is one of the things that I was curious about is, you know, watching love on the spectrum is eye-opening because they call it the spectrum right, because it is so wide and it is so differing from person to person. And so what misconceptions about autism do you often encounter and how do you handle that? How do you educate people or make them understand?
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, one of the things is I've always felt like sometimes when you went out dating or meeting new people and they would find out that Connor had a diagnosis of autism. Sometimes people they just they want to connect and I do think it comes from a genuine good place. But sometimes I think that you know, I would see them speak to my other three and then talk to Connor like, and so I just see a little bit of a different treatment and I think what people like and what they see on the show and I hope with me, is like I treat Connor, like I treat all my other kids. I treat Connor and I'm almost of the mindset of like I treat him and I've tried to raise him in the way I think the world is going to receive him and I'm not mean to him and I'm not cruel, but I'm also don't let him get off the hook because he has a diagnosis. And even one time Connor said to me once he got his, once we told him about his diagnosis about a couple months later he's so smart.
Speaker 3:Something at school happened or he couldn't, he didn't want to, wasn't doing an assignment, I don't know what it was, and he looked at me and he goes. Well, I'm autistic and I looked right at him and I'm like we're going to fight the power dude, we're going to do it Like so you know, I've kind of always and that's not everybody's flavor and I do get a little bit of criticism online for it. I'm just a straight shooter and but I mean I don't regret one way the way I've raised him or treated him or we go about things because I am just so proud of who he is right now and today and who he's turning into. So but I would say the thing to know is there is a widespread drunk for people who aren't familiar.
Speaker 3:My husband didn't know anybody with autism when he met us and a lot of my friends have autistic kids because I think when we're wearing the t-shirt together, we flock together and I have some friends who have nonverbal autistic children that are more affected and when we get together at parties, I will literally treat him like I'm treating any other kid. I will talk to him like I'm talking to any other kid and I just show them decent human respect and even if he's not always giving it back to me, that's fine. I'm he's very aware. So there is a spectrum and just be. Just try to meet them where they're at and I just would say, treat him like you treat anybody else, because it does. They are humans and they have feelings like us and they're just like us and they just. Their brain works different, that's all.
Speaker 2:And they can. I hate to say that, but they like to be together. I know I'm like hearing myself.
Speaker 3:I'm like oh, I'm cringing, I'm, I'm, I'm just talking, Trying not to be ignorant, right?
Speaker 2:But like Connor, for example, he can tell if you're talking to him like he's a not human or he's less than or he, you know, is on the spectrum.
Speaker 3:So if you want to embarrass yourself, that's all you're doing, and I think there's a lot of autistic people that do get offended, saying like you know, oh, stop stop saying we're cute, stop saying we're this, like we have real feelings.
Speaker 3:And I also think on the show I mean, and she's just a 28 year old woman Danny has a lot of feelings on the show and I know this is a family show. So I'll just say she has a lot of adult feelings on the show and she's very verbal about them and I know she's catching a lot of heck online for it. But she's a 28 year old single woman and you know she's having, you know, normal 28 year old woman feelings. And I just feel like just because she has an autistic diagnosis doesn't mean, you know, she's getting any kind of criticism for that. I don't know. I just so it's. That's my biggest thing, is you're right? And it is so interesting just to even see, amongst the different cast members from season to season, the different levels of where they fall and their what works and doesn't work for them.
Speaker 2:And what I'll say about Danny. I have a lot of respect for her because once again like I think this kind of goes a little bit with Conor too is she's saying what we're all thinking. You know, she's just verbalizing what she wants, what she needs, and a lot of people don't talk about that at all. So I applaud her for being open about that and talking about it, being curious about things and knowing that what she wants in life and trying to find it and being honest and learning. Like how do I bring up this difficult topic? Like she wants to have sex right. So she's trying to figure out, like how do I find somebody who wants what I want without being disrespectful and but also not getting into a relationship where they're not on the same page, and I love that about her.
Speaker 3:And I love that transparency. And I also think, like then you go to my son, conor, who one thing about his participation in the show when he was very upfront is he was like first of all, he'd never been on a date before in his life and he doesn't have a lot of friendships outside the family. So another big gap for me and I amaze myself sometimes how I can just be so clueless was that part of I think the panics and struggles we see Conor go through on the show is part and parcel, because he doesn't even have friendship relationships to bounce off of and then try to go to the next level. So we basically grabbed him and threw him in the deep end of the pool of like hey, we know, you've never really had a lot of friends, but now go try to get a girlfriend. And then when I saw the panic and the agitation unfold I was like how did I miss that? I wasn't, you know. And so then we try to go back and support.
Speaker 3:But Conor was very vocal to Kean, the director and the producer, saying I'm not going to just kiss somebody on TV, like he was like not going to be. You know, that wasn't his comfort zone. He was like that to me is private, that to me is something like you know, I think him even holding Emily's hand or trying to, that was amazing to me. I didn't realize he was trying to do that. And then you obviously see, he's feeling so many feelings he gets overstimulated and has to stop and I love that he was self aware enough to know, okay, like I gotta, I gotta come back over here for a minute. That was a lot of whatever.
Speaker 2:I loved that scene. I just thought it was so cute. Like he asked like hey, is it okay if maybe I hold your hand? And she was like okay, but then, like they both were like how do we do this? How is it going to feel right or okay or normal or comfortable? And then it kind of wasn't and they kind of both were on the same page, I think, and they were like okay.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna try to get feelings which I thought I was so proud, he was so cute he aware that that him pulling his hand back could offend her that I was so proud of him that he was being kind of in her shoes and he was trying to explain it and you could tell she was like we're good, no, we're good, Stop. And then she pats his shoulder and I just love her for that. I love her so much. Sorry for spoiling this for people who didn't see, but anyway, but no well you should have already watched it.
Speaker 3:So I mean, that whole thing was just. All these new feelings and emotions are being awoken in him. But the guy I see now that we've done the show and we filmed and it's not pretty obvious that him and Emily are just friends, that, and then they do. They're going to see each other again this afternoon. They get out of the house and they do things as friends. It was cute. I think Kamali did.
Speaker 2:And that's great for him to just to even be experiencing a friendship with a female versus just being with the guys.
Speaker 3:It's giving him reps for when he does really want to go to the next level. He's now getting friendship reps and he needs those. And it was funny Emily's mom was even like hey, emily, when I was ready for Christmas. She said Emily's starting to just feel like a friendship and I'm like that's cool. Conner is too, but I'm like I see it as a win because they're great adults and they're good people and she goes. But Emily has a friend that likes medieval swords and things, so like Emily is almost trying to hook him up.
Speaker 2:And sometimes you know that's. Another good thing for Conner to understand is a lot of people meet their match, as he calls it, through other mutual relationships.
Speaker 3:The fact that he's getting out and about and doing things. We had a family dinner last Saturday night and we already have a big family, so there's like that. But my daughter's boyfriend's family had come into town for his birthday, so it was a huge table of us and some new faces for Conner that he had never met before. Typically, when we're in an environment like that and a loud, busy restaurant on a Saturday night, all of us together, it's already too much input, too much sensory input. Nine times out of 10, you'll see Conner like this at dinner, just in his phone and down in his phone doesn't really want to engage. Just like a little bit safer to be in here. Last Saturday night his phone stayed on the table and he engaged in her boyfriend's brother and wife. I was sitting next to him and I was just. I kept hitting my husband. I'm like and then my daughter was one over for my husband and I was like we are just having this whole conversation with our eyes of like it was awesome, it was awesome.
Speaker 2:There's two more things that I want to bring up about the show that I really liked. So when he was going to tell Sasha that he just wanted to be friends and you did that like practice phone call with him, my heart so the way that unfolded was very organic.
Speaker 3:I get so annoyed when I read that the show scripted or it's fake. It's not. Sometimes we do have to do a retake just because, like, my dog walked in or something happened or I flew. Yeah, I like like said something maybe I shouldn't have or referred to something I shouldn't have, but that really happened. We were upstairs and he was nervous because we're going to film. You know, shoot him calling Sasha. And one of the producers was upstairs with us and the camera guys were downstairs. The director was downstairs in my house and I think that's where they wanted him to make the call.
Speaker 3:So I think he was pacing around and he looked at he was about to kind of kick off, like he did at the bagel at the speed dating. So I was like okay, come here, come on, let's get in your room. And like sit down, what's wrong? Talk to me. And he's like I don't know.
Speaker 3:And I was like do you want to role play it with me? Like I'll be Sasha, so let's do this together. And so he's like yeah, so we started. And the producers like stop, stop, what are you doing? And I'm like I'm just getting them ready because I'm scared he's going to melt down when we do this. And she's like, called the cameraman up like they're going to role play this. So they made us stop. So then we we, we genuinely role played it, but we had to stop and I just felt, and I wanted to be careful with the role play because I didn't know how Sasha was going to feel, but I also didn't want to make it horribly painful on them, but I also do want to make it easy on them, so I pretended to be like well, wait, I'm, I wasn't expecting this.
Speaker 2:You know, I wanted him to have to think about what she might say and how he's going to have to respond to that.
Speaker 3:And I didn't want to get too emotional breakdown so I had him not him to freak out. But she actually handled it better than I did in the role play For real. So I was kind of glad I gave him the business a little bit on the front end. So he was totally. I think he was like wasn't as bad as mom did.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think too, like when you guys were role playing, you said like Connor, thank you for telling me. You know, it means a lot to me that you told me. And then she did say that in her in the real phone call, like thank you for telling me. And I was like, oh, I love this because in the real world, which this is I mean I'm not saying this isn't the real, but there's so much ghosting that goes on. So I thought like this is amazing. Yes, show people, you need to communicate, even if it's hard to do or you're afraid to hurt somebody. Like we want to know versus just not.
Speaker 3:And the other is adorable and you know he played sports in high school and you know was just, you know, out there and I will go down swinging trying to raise three very nice gentlemen. Whether I succeed all the time or not is yet to be seen, or has been hit them and some of them haven't been perfect. But and when I joked and I looked at Jack, I'm like you can tear a page out of this book. But from my point is, I want my sons all of them Connor, jack, ben and my stepson Hunter to know women are to be loved, respected.
Speaker 3:You know, connor is the should be the poster child for every male to look about how to ask for consent. I've always told my boys you need to respect women and be a gentleman and don't ever assume anything and respect her space, boundaries. But also, we are not going to just walk away from somebody that you felt enough to take them out or do these things with. You owe them the dignity and respect to do it right and let me know where they stand, because I I cannot stand as a woman myself. So, on behalf of all of us women, I'm trying to raise men who at least know that they should be doing that.
Speaker 2:Right. And I even tell my son, like this is a little, this is a few steps ahead. But I tell him, like, if somebody is giving you consent and it might not be the right time for you, or maybe you're at a party and there's a situation that's maybe not ideal Safe, if they really, if they really do like you, it's okay to say no and yes, can come again another time, and that's okay.
Speaker 3:I mean and these aren't the most comfortable conversations to have and like and again, I was a single mom I don't know if you're a single mom or remarried, but especially of a boy. It's like there was a few years I was wearing both hats and I'm not a guy, but I, you know, I did my best to try to you know where the both shirts, for the mom and the dad, roll.
Speaker 2:And then my last thing I wanted to bring up this is this really hit home for me too, because I think about this my son has ADHD.
Speaker 2:So going through that diagnosis for me was very difficult because I didn't want the label on him and I didn't want him to have to take meds and I didn't want all these things. But once I, like, was more open-minded to why do I want to hold him back when maybe there's things I could do to make him more successful? So that just kind of was our path. But you said in one of the episodes to I think it was your son, jack and you said you know, someday I'm not going to be here, someday I'm going to die and I don't want to have to worry about Connor or any of your kids. And he's like mom, we all love Connor, he's all our favorite person. We're never going to let that happen. But we do worry about that and we want to make sure that our kids find stability and happiness and so that we know when we're not here for them anymore they're all 100%.
Speaker 3:I mean biggest fear as a mother period we're going to worry about our kids. I don't care who they are, what they're doing. Successful, not successful, it's just, it's in our DNA. I can't wait to have them more grand. You know, grandkids come into the scene because there's more people to worry about.
Speaker 3:But the bottom line is, with Connor in particular, he doesn't drive. We live in Metro Atlanta and I think this is most cities. There's a lot of distracted driving. Our zip code in particular is just very populated. There's just a lot of I just it's not that I don't think Connor would get behind the wheel and be a complete rule follower, but I don't trust other drivers. And then I do think if there was an incident, a traffic incident of whatever kind, how would he be okay in that situation? So he doesn't drive. Thank God we have plenty of resources here that he doesn't need to.
Speaker 3:But there's that I worry about, just his future in terms of revenue generating with. He did not want to go to college. It was his decision. He said I'm not good at school, loves where he is very, very happy. Doesn't want to try to go to a different department. He's in a local grocery store, doesn't want to go to a different department, just loves he's so happy, he doesn't want to lose his job and who can take that away from him? But earning potential.
Speaker 3:So there's tons of these worries and what made me feel so good is I've never asked my children that it would be come up to them to step in. We'll make accommodations, we'll figure them out. But all three of them have separately said to me, without me even asking, like I'll take them. If you're never around, he can come be with me and my family. My daughter's funny. She tells her boyfriend like I'm a package deal with this guy. You take me, you're taking him. So I didn't ask that. My kids are saying we've got him and that just makes my heart sing because I do feel like he'd be okay.
Speaker 2:I think that, like I said, the reason I wanted to reach out to you and I am so happy that you said yes is I just admire your parenting style and what kind of mom you are. It just really sings to me and I like to think that I'm the same way, like I try to be very open and transparent and there and just whatever my kids need, right. And I used to be like, well, you know, if my son is, he doesn't leave the house very often and you know so my husband always jokes like you know, he's going to live in our basement for his whole life and I'm like that's fine, that's fine, I'll take him, but like, at the end of the day, like no, like he, it's not good for him, right, he needs to branch out and live life and get some independence and experience. But so seeing just what you're doing with your family is just so heartwarming and it's not to me.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I'm glad and I'm grateful that you reached out and I'm happy to be here and just for adding this to raise awareness and it's like, yeah, I mean, I get it, they want to be in their basement and their comfort zone, but we are social animals. I mean, I think there are studies I don't want, I don't have any to quote, but you know there are studies out there that show people live longer when they have social interactions where pack animals. You know, I mean we need each other and I can. I can give an example of my own life with my mother. My stepfather passed away in late 2018. She lived alone and then COVID hit and my mother also has Parkinson's and it was 2020 and everybody was on lockdown and we didn't, you know, we didn't know, none of us knew what was going on and we would deliver my mom groceries and not let her open the door to us and plastic gloves and wipe her groceries down. And you know we didn't want her to get my mother declined with her Parkinson's so much, without my stepdad there, without her family's contact, because we couldn't get near her and we didn't want to compromise her any with Parkinson's. So, fast forward to 2021,.
Speaker 3:My sister and I got together and made a decision like hey, we got to put her kind of in a wonderful adult, adult, active, adult community. Not even she's independent. She got a little upset. My mother has like almost reversed with her symptoms. She's got. We call her.
Speaker 3:Now she's like I can't talk, I'm doing this, I'm going here, we got a card game, and so that in and of itself, that has nothing to do with autism. It's just about what social interaction means, even when we're scared. My mother was scared to leave her house. My mother was scared to go move in with a bunch of people she didn't know in these apartments and dining rooms, and my mother has flourished and actually reversed some of the negative effects she was having in lockdown with Parkinson's. Same thing applies to these children and we're their moms. It's our job to get them out there slowly and comfortably uncomfortable. That makes sense, but not sheer panic. I'm not talking about whipping your kid out and throwing him in them and he's in a meltdown panic and he can't function. No, there is a loving, systematic, get comfortable with being uncomfortable kind of situation to put your kid in, and I'm going to do that and I'm seeing a man blossom in front of me, and I don't regret it.
Speaker 2:Was he nervous to do the show and be on camera? He?
Speaker 3:was. He was nervous. I was like I'm so cute, I've never been on a date and I'm going on a date with two cameras. I was like I'm pretty social and confident and the camera thing would freak me out too, dude I know. But yeah, he was nervous.
Speaker 3:He kept saying to the director you just made me think of this. I don't want to look stupid. Don't make me look stupid. What if I say something stupid? What if I do something stupid? And the director is ace, I love him. He is so just great with his words and the way he would come back. He said Connor, the only way people because people are going to laugh at me People are going to laugh at me. So the only way people are going to laugh at you is if I film you slipping on a banana peel. And then Connor started laughing and it was like that was. The other thing is we trusted the director so much. I had seen the other series, I had seen his work. I knew he was out to portray these people. You know this population of people with dignity and respect. This was not about being cringy or icky. It was really to raise awareness and just foster. Let's get this going.
Speaker 2:It was shining a positive light on it, for sure. Yeah, one more thing I really wanted to ask you. Oh, I was going to say. A lot of times it comes back to me, I feel like, since he did the Netflix show, his social media he's doing so great, he's doing great things and he wants those followers, and so that's helping him seek that social aspect out, and that's amazing to see.
Speaker 3:I think what's super because Connor loves talk about. What Connor loves to talk about is a lot of people are responding to a sword collection and his facts. I love it. I joke around. I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel like I get to go to work next to Google Because, like he tells me all these things and I'm like my husband will drive him to work sometimes and he'll call me and this I always loved this line. He's like this is my favorite phone call. He's like I just dropped Conor off and I was like okay, everything okay. And he's like did you know that dragon eggs explode underwater? That's how they hatch. And I was like just call me to tell me.
Speaker 3:I mean, yes, conor's so excited to hear that people want to hear about his swords because we're all like, oh, I don't want to hear about your swords anymore. I'm like, yeah, the scabbard cool, you know. But he's like, listen, and people are really into it, so yeah he's, he's getting fed.
Speaker 2:It's helping him find that community of the people who like the same things that he likes.
Speaker 3:Something that wasn't going on. When he spent most of his free time like this, at our house or watching a show or not connecting. He just wasn't growing and he seemed sad and lonely and he's even, I would say, before this. He was starting to get a little angry, like just short fused, and and I remember saying at one point to him like this is not, like this is not you, conor, this is not my son. My son is not grumpy like this, you're not irritable.
Speaker 3:What's going on? And now that we're out and about and I'm like there's something to it and I know we always want our kids to be comfortable and feel safe and okay, but when we get into this stage of life, we, the world, isn't going to keep them wrapped in cotton wool. And if we're going to have situations, then no safer than me to be a test run, because I'm going to catch them when I see it going too far. But I just, I genuinely think like it's okay to push them a little bit and make them uncomfortable, your child, your children, because they will, they will grow.
Speaker 2:That's the only way anyone does Me too.
Speaker 3:I mean, like you know, career-wise, making changes and having to get out there and talking to you. I'm like, oh gosh, do I sound like an idiot? What am I going to hear this and regret something?
Speaker 2:No, no, well, at least, thank you so much for being on the podcast and talking to me. This was an amazing experience that I was looking forward to.
Speaker 3:I just so quick, because I did hear a few episodes. It's you and your son, so fun. How did that come about? Just really quick for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so really quick is um? I always wanted to. So when I was younger, I always wanted to be a radio personality or like have my own, like like a midnight, like people call in with their like love questions and I would answer them. Or I wanted like to do I work in women's health and OBGYN and I'm like, oh, it'd be so awesome if we had like a reality show and OBGYN.
Speaker 2:Like that would be awesome but you know, never, ever happened. So then my son really wanted to do a YouTube survival channel because in COVID we watched a lot of like alone, naked and afraid, because he went on this kick about like wanting to survive and he'd always be like drop me off in the woods and see how far I can make it home or how long I can survive, and I'm like I will not do that.
Speaker 2:And so then he's like, mom, we should do a YouTube survival channel where we see how long we can survive in the woods. And I was being very optimistic and I'm like, oh, I can't take off an undetermined amount of work to go survive in the woods, even though I probably won't survive. But I wanted him to think I could survive a long time, and so I said, well, let's, how about this? I'm like we could do a podcast and see how that goes, and then, yeah, that's so fun, I love it.
Speaker 3:How old is he?
Speaker 2:He's 15 now, just turned 15. So now we've been yeah, I've been letting him drive the car around the block during the get a feel for it, so that's been nerve wracking.
Speaker 3:I highly recommend driving school instructors because I was just every meme you've ever seen about a mom driving with her kid. I'm it Even now. My son Jack said wonderful driver, he's 19. He like he wishes there was an eject button when I'm in the passenger seat. He's like mom. I've been driving for like three years. Cut it out and I'm like the car. What the person? It's just bad.
Speaker 2:I know I'm a terrible. I'm a terrible backseat driver, so I'm always like you know, I'm like are you ready to see me be pumping my fake break over here? And my husband even gives me a hard time because, like, if I see something happening and I'm getting nervous, like I'll grab the handle. And he's like stop it. And I'm like I just want to feel secure.
Speaker 3:He was like we're gonna die.
Speaker 2:Anyway, this was so fun Because I used to be like oh, oh, oh, did you see that? And he's like you're gonna make me get in a car accident. And so now I just shut my eyes and like grab on the thing. He's like teenage boys.
Speaker 3:they're fun, but thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and I know I always tell them. I guess it's like now we're friends, so I'll be seeing you around and I'll be liking all of Connor's stuff that he posts on. Check out our YouTube channel too.
Speaker 3:It's called CarRider. Yeah, oh, ok. Our YouTube channel is CarRides with Connor. It's a really fun.
Speaker 2:Ok, I think I saw it on his Instagram Like a little funny.
Speaker 3:It really just started because I would come to work and tell my co-workers the facts and they're like you got to write it down. I'm like not going to do that. We started a channel and it's basically. Everyone gets to sit in the car basically and see what I've had every morning and I annoyed the heck out of that poor kid because he is a punctual on time guy and he has to rely on this loose cannon to get him to work. I get him to work late pretty much every day, which frustrates him. And I don't mean to, I don't go out of my way to do it, I just am a horrible manager of time and I wish you can admit that I'm not your person if you need to be somewhere in time.
Speaker 3:So yeah, CarRides with Connor, please go like and subscribe, because it's just fun if you want to jump in the car with the two of us any day of the week. It's that's. That's what it's like. It's very amateur. Our first couple of episodes the phone is in the cup holders because I didn't have a phone. So you're looking up our noses. So it's great, I do that I have this email.
Speaker 3:If you're into some amateur hour YouTube sign up.
Speaker 2:So I always end to with I forgot this because I was just getting so excited but anything else you want to share? And where can we find? You guys Find?
Speaker 3:me at at Smith and Sin. Eight. So that's S M I T H I N S O N eight. On Instagram I have a TikTok. It's Connor's mom. Four, five, one four. Connor is Connor, I think, on TikTok, and then he's Connor Tomlinson. Five on Instagram. We are we're over 100 K for him, so yay, and we'd love to keep going. And then our YouTube channel is CarRides with Connor. We'd love you to hit like and subscribe and I can't do it like he does it, but he signs up with Stay Classy, planet Earth.
Speaker 2:I love it. I always end this with thanks for stopping by and another episode of Honor Best.
Speaker 3:Behavior Honor, best Behavior.
Speaker 2:And that's a really sarcastic comment, because my son and I are we're never on our best behavior, so that's why it's funny.
Speaker 1:My friends who do know me will know I was on my best behavior.
Speaker 2:Well, good, at least I mean, I usually am when I have a guest. But you know, when you listen to this episode and you hear the beginning and the end, you're probably going to be like oh God, what.
Speaker 3:I'd rather be with real, genuine people Do that all day long.
Speaker 2:Very good, all right. Well, lisa, I'm going to let you go. I know you have to bring Connor somewhere and thank you Okay. Okay. So what you didn't get to see about that interview is I got to meet Connor After the interview.
Speaker 2:And it's not on camera because we were done, but we were wrapping it up and kind of chatting, lisa and I, and all of a sudden Connor came home and she's like hey, I think Connor's home, do you want to meet him quick? And I was like yeah. So it was amazing, it was so fun. I feel I was like on cloud nine. I was like calling Justin, I was calling Emmy, I'm like guess what?
Speaker 1:It was so fun. It was so fun.
Speaker 2:And he's just as cute in quote unquote, real life as on the show.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're funny.
Speaker 2:Do you have a would you rather for me today? Yes, what?
Speaker 1:is it I have?
Speaker 2:to look at my phone real quick. You know I love to make decisions, so wait, okay, I remember it.
Speaker 1:Okay, only be able to.
Speaker 2:Okay, would you rather?
Speaker 1:Would you rather only be able to go like walk on your fours?
Speaker 2:Walk on all fours, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or only be able to walk backwards backwards.
Speaker 2:So if you walk on all fours you can go in forward or backward or sideways.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I would rather just walk backwards. I don't want to walk on my hands.
Speaker 1:I don't use that. I don't like to go back backwards, are you?
Speaker 2:walking backwards.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, I have a funny joke for you. My joke is better than your. Would you rather this week? Come on, it's about driving. That's nasty, what You're nasty.
Speaker 1:Tyson, I'm going to put you in this laundry basket.
Speaker 2:They're just trying to be part of the podcast it was so funny.
Speaker 1:Last night we were playing and there's a laundry basket and he wanted to get his toy and I brought it. I was like hanging it over the basket, so I was trying to jump for it. He would, like, you like, push it forward. It was funny, so he couldn't get his toy.
Speaker 2:Oh, he probably thinks you're playing that same game right now. He looks sad, like he wants to play. Okay, all right, ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Why isn't it a good idea to throw false teeth at your vehicle?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Because you'll dent your car.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, do you get it? I think I do.
Speaker 2:False teeth are dentures yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, denture car, dent, denture Got it. Yeah, okay, that's not, that was what it was.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to another episode of Honor Best Behavior. Hey, don't forget to stop by and get one of our Honor Best Behavior Stickers. Five dollar holla.
Speaker 1:Vanilla baby.
Speaker 2:And I've done some really great interviews. This week I interviewed June, the Midwest medium. She also has a podcast, check it out. And I also just did an interview with Salute THC Dispensary.
Speaker 1:They're up in Cloakay.
Speaker 2:Minnesota and they make all their THC right there. Check it out.
Speaker 3:You got to get a quick comment those interviews coming on up.
Speaker 1:You got to get a quick comment. Bye, see you guys. What's going on? What's going on? No-transcript.